Can You Keep A Secret?

courtesy of www.samsclub.com

What does a 48 oz. container of delicious Planters Cashews have to do with a housekeeper?

Let me tell you...

A very dear friend of mine introduced and got me addicted to cashews. Every day she packed me a small baggie of nuts. To reciprocate this act of love I figured I'd go to my neighbourhood market and purchase a container of cashews so that I may share with her one day. This is what good, pardon me, great friends do!

And so I did. I entered Super Value, yes I am calling the company's name, walked straight to the snack food aisle and grew extremely excited when I glanced upon the stacks of cashews. Perfect! The store has cashews, I did not know if they would be hard to find. I don't do grocery stores, my husband is the food shopper.

Anywho, wap I grabbed the largest 48 oz. container of cashews. I have to get the biggest one because I know my friend and I are going to devour these in a hot minute.

Why is one let me repeat, one bleepity-bleep container, so what it is 48 oz., why is one container of cashews $30.99.... dollars that is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously?

I put the cashews back on the shelf. Oh well, I'm not that great of a friend!

And so, plan B, I made a purchase of cashews in the mighty land of America where one 48 oz. container is $15.98. I bought two. Thank you Tammie!

This leads me to my housekeeper. I have a live-in housekeeper who I absolutely adore. This is my third nanny and by far the best. My family is truly blessed to employ her. Since she is a live-in, you know where I am going with this, she has access to our kitchen and all the food that is in it.

And so, I recall the day I gleefully bought the cashews home. I was thrilled. Eric was thrilled. Channing and Chase are not included! Cashews are for grown -ups. My housekeeper said,"Cashews, oh I love me some cashews! Cashews nice!"

In less than a week, I'm talking five days, 48 oz. of cashews were slaughtered, kidnapped with no ransom letter, never to be found again.

Wth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One week?

Did I forget to post on the Hall Family Facebook and Twitter Page that these cashews need to last us until let's say hmm, at least December? Someone did not get the memo.

I took the can of evidence to Eric and interrogated him. Satisfied with his testimony I came to a verdict. My housekeeper has eaten the majority of my cashews!

Now don't get me wrong, I am not stingy with my housekeeper. She can eat whatever is in the house. She can drink anything except our liquor. I do not and never will be mean and not share nor provide for her. I believe when you hire a housekeeper, you have to treat her as an employee and give her boundaries but at the same token you have to treat her as you would want someone to treat you.But my cashews. My $15.98 cashews. My foreign-travel-on-da-plane-in-a-suitcase-gone-through-customs cashews! 

Oh Houston, we have a problem!

courtesy of www.8womendream.com

I have the solution!

Shhhhhhhh! Don't tell my housekeeper but...

I have strategically hidden the second container of cashews!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even Eric knows, well maybe, but they are secured. 

How did I get here? I feel bad about hiding food from my housekeeper but I am desperate. Desperate people take desperate measures. Am I a bad employer? I so don't want to be but it is my job to keep 48 oz. of cashews safe. Who else will protect them from the housekeeper bandit?

Lord help me if she finds them!

Until I eat my cashews again,

Tiffany-still-praying-for-an-I-Phone Hall