Guest Blog: A Note from Goddie!

courtesy of www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

I am a Married Working Godmother and I recently had the opportunity to reflect on the role of godparents.  Confession is good for the soul and I confess that I have more than my fair share of godchildren.  Some of them I stood for voluntarily, others I was ‘coerced’ into standing for and still others adopted me.  No matter the origin of the relationship, I AM GODDIE!

The role of the godparent has changed over the years.  Godparents originally ‘sponsored’ an adult desiring to be baptized.  The sponsor vouched for the character of the baptism candidate.  The role developed further as more and more babies began to be baptized.  The godparent then stood with the parents to agree that the baptized infant would be brought up in a Christian environment.  More recently godparents can be selected because of their ability to ‘sponsor’ a child financially.  I am not that godparent. Most of my godchildren are the children of good friends, and in some cases I am godmother of all of the children in the household.

I love being a godmother.  I learned how to be a good godparent from my godparents who were superb godparents.  As I look back at my childhood, there is not a single event I can recall when my godparents weren’t there.  It helped that they were married to each other I suppose, I have fond memories of countless weekends at their home and a 13^th birthday party that they hosted for me.  A conversation with one of my goddaughters and her subsequent death sparked me to write a note to my remaining godchildren.

Dear Godchild,

Goddie loves you very much.  Although she may not see you as often as she’d like, she covers you in prayer daily.  You make my heart skip a beat when your face lights up everytime you see me.  I enjoy spending time with you, watching you grow and getting the things you really need like spray candy.  Thank you for the joy you bring to my life.

Enjoying four of my godchildren...there are so many more I love!

Goddie has enjoyed every Christmas Play, violin concert, ballet production, field trip, project preparation and birthday party.  Even when you were a baby, and not used to being separated from your mum, I held you in my arms and rocked you to sleep, despite the tears and passionate screams for mummy (yours not mine – smile)  Now that you are older, you don’t cry anymore.  We have conversations now.  I have never been more interested in Lego Duplo blocks, matching clothes, hair, finger nail polish, shoes, books and movies.  I like to know who you play with in school, and who makes you vex.  Despite what your mother says, you will never be to big to sit in my lap.  That spot is just for you!

As I write this note with tears in my eyes, I want you to know that I am proud of the young man/woman you are becoming.  I listen with awe and laughter as your mother recounts tales of your latest accomplishments, whether it is potty training, sports or academics.  I look forward to seeing your pictures on Facebook and your birthday calls and emails from me are always sincere.

When Goddie disciplines you, it is because she sees the best in you and wants you to see it in yourself.  We usually don’t stay mad at each other for long – there’s too much fun things for us to do together!

My wish for you is that you become all that God has for you to become.  My desire is that you learn to serve Him in your youth.  May the things of God always be important to you.  At your baptism I promised that I would support your parents in your Christian upbringing, and at your confirmation I’ll be there to watch you make the promise for yourself.

Here are some things I want you to remember:

1. Respect and fear God –  He is the Creator.
2. Honour your parents – they are making sacrifices for you.
3. Always treat people how you want to be treated.
4. I am here for you – even if it means sitting at your side as you fight your last fight with death in a hospital bed.  (I’m super glad I was able to tell you all of this stuff while you were living!)

With much love and affection,

Goddie

Guest Blogger
Mrs. Antja Humes

Always Be Authentically YOU!

I was wrecking my brain all week wondering what on earth I was going to blog about today.  

You see, writing doesn't come naturally to me.  So, why start a blog, right?! 

Well, in the beginning I wrote more as if I was writing a page in a journal and maybe I was in a different mental space then. But after gaining some momentum and a bigger audience I steered away from that a bit by wanting to spew information, like how music can heal the world, or what's in your purse, etc. 

I posted this picture earlier in the week on our Facebook page.

Later that day, Mr. Thompson (my husband) sent that very same picture back to me in a whatsapp conversation we were having.

Ouch. I had to make a decision because how can I post things that didn't necessarily reflect how I felt at that time?!

   

I got off track from being authentically Candi during those times and posting became difficult.

It became difficult because I didn't want to sound negative or ungrateful about my life to others if I posted how I was truly feeling.  So I would hide what I was naturally feeling or what I really wanted to say.

That was not fair. And I wasn't feeling connected to my audience.

It's easy to slip into posting inspirational quotes, messages, posts on how to make life easier, or lists on how to live happy.  I felt I had to keep everyone upbeat on their daily journeys by saying those things even when I wasn't always feeling it myself. 

But that wasn't the reason we started this blog! We created the blog to talk about the hard things!  To be promoters of AUTHENTICITY! And I wasn't holding up my end of the deal. Mind you, Tiffany would always know how I was feeling at that moment but the community we are trying to build didn't. Sure, there are things in our lives that will be kept private, that's understood. But for the most part, I have to stay true to Candi and just be me. I am me.

See there, it says it right on my wrist!!! i am me.

Believe it or not, I am an introvert. That doesn't mean that I don't like to go out, but I prefer it to be with persons closest to me (which are very few). I love to be alone, in my own space and while that is not how my life is set up, I have to steal moments of being by myself. Which is difficult for both myself and family to deal with. Being a wife and mother are two of the most challenging things I've ever had to do. Sometimes, I don't feel I'm very good at either of them and there are other times where I feel like quitting. We all have our bad days. It's hard, and at times it's hard trying to accept the present moments for what they are.  

So there you go.

The lesson...

The best decision you can make for yourself is to simply BE YOU.  You can't embark on things if they do not align with who you are. You cannot speak passionately on topics from an angle other than what you are feeling or what you believe. You cannot live your life worried what others (including your family) will think of you, your thoughts, or your situations. 

You have to have faith that by being who you truly are, you will touch someone somewhere and you will help them with whatever it is they are going through.

That is all anyone can do.

Signed, 

I am me, Candilaria

GUEST BLOG: I’m Jealous of My Wife’s Hair!

Tiffany and I

So I am what’s called a LSD, Light Skinned Brother; hard red; mixed; bright…whatever. With that complexion came mixed hair. It is not 4C but it is not straight nor is it particularly curly.

I have been said to have good hair; something I rebuke not as a HBCU “enlightened brutha” but just as a coloured man who thinks it is not particularly intelligent to say something so dumb. It’s illogical.

However, I still have hair issues. When I was a baby I had big curls; as a young boy a stay soft fro afro and a partial shag that my mother lamented my father for allowing the barber to give me.  Once in high school I was able to pick my own barber and style…I pulled off the ramp, the wedge, I rocked a pretty solid high top fade. Then I started to want more. I wanted the picky look. I wanted to look more thug. Never worked.

 

I owned a pair of these exact glasses!

By adulthood I became comfortable using basic methods and moisturizer to enhance my most natural look of low curls. I been rocking that for a while now, but there is a problem.

Black women’s hair has never been an issue for me. I appreciate just about any style or texture and don’t have much issue with weave or wigs (once they are done properly). I was on the horsehair-joke committee for a stint and never appreciated the weave that sought to trick me. Nowadays, Remy is so affordable and common it is obvious and acceptable.

My wife Tiffany...flawless!

My wife has spent 11 of the last 12 years with me fussing over her hair. She has worn almost every style I can think of and has come through an incredible journey of self care both of her spirit and her hair to the point that she has returned natural.

Herein lies my problem. I am jealous of my wife’s hair. Her natural hair has released a level of regality that we did not anticipate. She does not cry over her hair anymore. It looks like a crown now. In fact in its natural state it is more and more her crowning glory than it ever has been.

It is thick, 4C to be exact (if you don’t know what 4C means, you ain’ serious). It is strong, curly and koil-y; and it is full of character. Her hair tells her story of strength. She is so proud and walks taller with it. She knows other women are jealous because she rocks that hair with confidence.

Tiffany took this photo this past January on her 42nd Birthday!

I am jealous of my wife’s hair. My hair is thinning. It doesn’t grow the way it used to. These curls trying hard but I think they giving up. So, I grew a beard. I feel like I cannot compete with my wife who is so damn fine.  I am using all the rejected products she has tried. Some work some don’t. I am grooming this beard.

Go girl!

Signed Guest Blogger,

Eric Hall

10 Things Married Working Mothers Never Say!

1.  "Oh you don't want to eat the chicken mummy cooked? No problem baby, I will cook something entirely different just for you."

courtesy of www.parenting.com

2.  "Who me? I don't need a break!"

courtesy of www.someecards.com

3.  "Mom, you don't have to keep the children, I know you're tired."

www.toonvectors.com

4.  "No alcohol for me.  I'm good, thanks!" 

courtesy of wellbeingbites.net

5.  "I really enjoy going to school plays on a Sunday.  I don't need the one day I have to be off."

6.  "Oh please honey, come inside the bathroom while I tinkle and let's have a full conversation of how your day went."

courtesy of blogs.babycenter.com 

7.  "I can't wait to get home to fold those two loads of laundry."

courtesy of americanpreppersnetwork.com

8.  To your boss: "Of course I can stay late to help you finish this project."

courtesy of www.sparkminute.com

9. "I absolutely love waking up at 5:00am every morning! It really gets me going."

courtesy of www.whatwouldmayahsay.com

10. "Sweetie, how come you don't have any homework tonight? Darnnit, I was really looking forward to doing long division with you!"

courtesy of www.shutterstock.com

What are some of the things you never say? :)


Hope this puts a smile on your face.  Enjoy the weekend ladies!


Signed, 
"It's after 5pm already? I need another hour!"
Candilaria