East Street Cashier Line

courtesy of lighthousefellowshipbahamas.com

Yesterday I was in the area of East Street South. I decided to stop at a beauty supply store to purchase a box of single edged razors in an attempt to keep my recently threaded eyebrows shaped. (You have to try eyebrow threading!)  

 

I confess East Street is not a street I visit on a regular basis. But since shopping in my neck of the woods can be pricey, and I was in the area for another purpose, I decided to give it try.

 

I was very pleased. The store had the razors, the price was great and the service was phenomenal. I stood at the cashier line. I was given the total and proceeded to issue the appropriate dollars. While waiting for my change, a little boy about the age of ten came to the counter. He stood next to me within my personal space and placed his container of Dax Wave and Groom Hair Grease on the counter.. Yes in front of me! If you walked by you would think the Dax Grease was mine. He did not say 'Excuse me'!

 

Immediately I thought should I move or should I stay still?

I stood my ground. I'm an adult for goodness sake.

 

Well I'm not sure who I thought I was standing next to because homeboy shifted so that we bumped kneecaps. Clearly, I did not realize he was standing in line. He moved his body closer to mine. We were touching... seriously, we were! Without thought I stepped back.

 

Then I began a quick conversation in my head.

 

"Are you going to correct him or are you going to get your package and get the hell out of Dodge? Now you know you on East Street. One of two things can happen. This little boy could cuss you out or even worse he may have a relative who will cuss you out! Tiffany you know your head is jam in certain circumstances, but you don't know how to cuss out someone on East Street."

 

The teacher in me played devil's advocate. "All you have to say is, "Excuse me sweetie. Can you move over a little please? It is wrong to make the assumption that he is a rude child."

 

The 'Live-off-the-Eastern-Road' in me said, "Puhleasse! You really think talking like that to this little boy is gonna cause him to move? Try hard get your change and leave."

 

Unfortunately, I did just that.

 

I lacked courage!

 

When I hopped in my car I felt horrible. I did not seize on a teachable moment. I should have said something. Supposed this little boy had never been taught the proper etiquette of personal space. I could have shared a tidbit with him. Why should I be so on edge, on the defensive?

 

Sadly, I think this happens way too often now. We see children do many bad or inappropriate acts. If they aren't ours, or someone we know or if we are in certain circumstances we say nothing. We make assumptions, evaluate the risk and more times or not determine, it's not worth it.

 

We live in an era where we aren't villages that raise our children. We are either scared citizens that stay in our area, our comfort zones with people like us or we are bullies that intimidate any and/or everyone around us.

 

Which type of person are you?

Lord help us!

 

Until I shop again,

Tiffany

 

P. S. I confess. I can be a wimp. A lady jumped the line in front of me this last Saturday. I didn't say anything to her either. She had acrylic on her big toes. I looked down at her toes and decided to keep my mouth shut and keep waiting for my turn. 

 

I don't know about any of you but I believe if you have big toe acrylics you gatta know how to fight or at a minimum, cuss someone the hell out!

We Have Failed Our Girls

I was a chaperone at a high school dance this past weekend. I watched in dismay as our girls performed lap dances. They danced like only they knew how; like they were having sex. At first I was traumatized   but after I went to church I repented not just for myself but for all the women, all of us who are older and wiser.

We have failed our daughters because we have allowed them to believe they can live like us, do what we do, wear what we wear, talk like we talk, listen to the music that we listen to and dance like some of us do.....some of us dance as if we are having sex.

We have failed because we did not and do not protect them for the reality shows, the videos on You tube that teach you how to twerk, the music that tells 'Bands will make her dance....' we did not protect them.

There is a woman reading this right now who watches her daughter get dressed in clothing that is too short, too tight, too revealing for her age but still you allow her to wear it...as a matter of fact you bought this outfit for her. 

You are failing your daughter. 

Your daughter may look ready but she is not ready to wear a pair of shorts that show her camel toe. Why isn't she ready you may ask. She isn't ready because she is a girl. 

Give your girl a chance to be a girl. When she is a young woman then change accordingly.

I witnessed an eighth grade girl give a boy a lap dance while he was laying down on his back on a stage. I watched a seventh grade boy pump a girl by holding her hips while he was standing behind her. I watched twelve and thirteen year olds bend over and touch their toes as soon as a song started. This is what we have taught them. 

You may be thinking that no, not me I don't dance this way, certainly not in front of my daughter but does your daughter have a television in her room with access to cable tv? Does your daughter have a computer in the privacy of her own room? Does she have an ipad or a smart phone to watch, receive or send messages at will? Do you have conversations in front of your daughter with your girlfriends? Do you wear clothing too tight and revealing? Do you buy clothes that look like your clothes for your daughter? Does your daughter spend time with a godmother or aunt who listens to 100 Jamz while your daughter is in the car? Does your little girl know the words to songs meant for your listening ears? Is your camel toe showing when you get dressed? 

Take a moment.....what message are you communicating to your daughter by what you do? 

Your daughter, any girl you come in contact with is watching you. 

Today I was invited to speak to these same girls. I was asked to explain how to dress and carry themselves. Imagine if every woman our girls saw was a woman impeccably dressed. Imagine if we spoke honorably, we displayed etiquette. I would not need to speak at a seminar because our girls would have appropriate behavior modeled for them.

We have failed our girls.

WE HAVE FAILED OUR GIRLS!!!!!!

Until I blog again, 
Tiffany