MARRIAGE: Have You Had That Moment Yet?

'You actually think that we're the same." said Mellie. "When I was faced with the chance to cheat, I kept my knees together and I said no! 
We are not the same!"

www.hypable.com

This was the scene on Thursday's episode of Scandal. 

The mistress or 'sweetheart' accused the wife of the man she is sleeping with of having an affair with another man. The wife then checked the 'sweetheart' and informed her...no no no babes...me and you ain't alike! I kept my cookie in the jar unlike you...

tvline.com

I remember watching the scene and I empathized with Mellie again. I related to her because I am a wife. I related to her because I have self control. I related to Mellie because no...I am not like other women who have crossed the line and been unfaithful to their husbands.

Later on in the episode that all changed...

Mellie lost her self control.
Mellie kissed another man!
Mellie was unfaithful!

It was then the idea of this post hit me. 
Does every married woman have the moment when they lose self control?

Have you had that moment yet?

Have you had a moment where you submitted to temptation and kissed or slept with a man that is not your husband?

Let's face it, we all have ex-boyfriends, male colleagues or neighbours. We are tempted by beautiful teeth, a great body or charisma just as our husbands are enticed by high heels, a slinky  body  or a flirtatious laugh.

Women cheat too!

On the show Parenthood, the character Julia is separated from her husband because she kissed another man!

www.thejennyevolution.com

Regular everyday wives and mothers are cheating. Since this in fact is so, I pondered the million dollar question.

If this can happen to other women why can't it happen to me?

Truth be told...it can!

As much as 'We are not the same', when I compare me and cheating wives, we are the same in a very important regard, I am human too. The difference is choice.

Faithfulness is a choice! We make a choice not to send an illicit text. We make a choice to decline meeting after hours. We make a choice to stay away from a person who tempts us. These are daily choices. Faithfulness is a daily choice!

Based on two television shows, it is extremely possible to be in the perfect environment to cheat.

www.cdmdirect.com

Have you had that moment yet when you had to choose? I believe we all will be faced with that choice. If you are married, you will eventually. We are all one moment away from infidelity!

How will you choose?

Me? 

Today I choose my character. I choose to be faithful to Eric because I fight for my character. I need to be able to look in the mirror and stare into my eyes, the windows to my soul and be pleased with the woman I have become.

No make up but naturally me

It's hard I know. Trust me I know! (Insert blank stare here) But I fight today to not have that moment. I haven't met any man who is worth risking my honor. This isn't about how good or bad or what type of husband Eric is. This isn't about putting Eric on the list or having the perfect marriage.

This is all about me!

We celebrated International Women's Day recently. Our accomplishments mean nothing if we have no honor. Our accolades are trivial compared to character.

Here are two things I believe to be true. As a wife, you will have that moment. As a woman your character is worth the fight! One day, one moment, one choice at a time.

Ladies, I implore you to fight for good character. Fight and fight hard!

Fight!

Until I blog again,

Tiffany

Tyler, Tyler, Tyler....

courtesy of tylerperrystemptation.webstarts.com

Last night we finally went to the movies to watch Tyler Perry's Temptations. Lord help us!
Can you tell I am not a big Tyler Perry fan?

The movie was about marriage.
I'm married.
Let's go to the movies!



Now I will not reveal the plot but here is a summary.

Two teenagers get permission to get married at nineteen. They grow up and live a married life.  The wife is feeling unfulfilled, bored and taken for granted. The wife has a job as a marriage counselor at a matchmaking firm. In walks a single man who is attracted to her. She reveals as a good Christian woman she has only been with her husband. This single man is wealthy and requests her service to assist him on a project. While working in close proximity the woman is tempted by the man.

The main character went from 

devoted fully covered wife.

courtesy of www.guardian.co.uk

To being tempted wife.

courtesy of www.guardian.co.uk

To turned out wife.

courtesy of movies.yahoo.com

After viewing, the moral to this storyline is simple. Don't get married when you are nineteen. Live your life. Figure out who you want to be. Figure out what you like from what you do like. You need to know before you commit to marriage. Why? Because one day a wealthy, white teeth, well-dressed man is going to walk into your world. At this point you need to know what to do. If you get married at nineteen you won't know what to do.


Did I enjoy the movie?
Not so much!

Did I relate to the movie?
Not so much!

Did I learn anything from the movie?
Not so much!

Would I recommend this movie?
Not so much!

How would I change the movie?
The married couple would have had children.

That's when the boredom, unfulfilled, taking for granted feeling is intensified because all energies are spent on the children. Funds are affected so less dinners, less travel, less dates. Details are forgotten because children information consumes the brain; their schedules, their needs, their wants etc.

If this couple had children then I would have related to the movie.

I would have reunited the woman with an ex-lover, someone from college who is not a complete stranger. We all have that dude from our past who if they walked back into our lives we would accept a dinner invitation, talk about old times, laugh and talk and reconnect. The idea of 'let's do it one more time for good times sake' is more realistic for a wife from someone she has been with before than a complete stranger.

It would be difficult, damned near impossible for a strange man to woo me off my feet in 2013 with all the diseases roaming about and I have a good husband at home.

If this woman ran into an ex and they reconnected then I would have related to being tempted.

I did not relate to this movie despite it being about marriage. I did not get married at nineteen. I did not marry my first love. I do not work in an environment that totally goes against my morals. No wealthy guy can woo me off my feet because I am immediately suspicious of men who spend lots of money on women. No single guy can woo me off my feet because at this stage of my life, if you aren't married at my age and you have never been married, you are crazy or gay.

As for Tyler Perry's ability to produce a movie, that is an entirely different blog. People, I am a Shonda Rimes fan. I need plots to unfold, to develop, to surprise, to tear at my heart, my soul and make me ponder about my life.

Tyler Perry!
Not so much!

Tiffany