What Do You Really Want?

Dear Readers,

Listed below are different scenarios for marriage. As you read, one of these scenarios should describe your present relationship. There are some of us who would not change our current scenario but there are some of us who dream of another scenario. Please read all of the scenarios and make a choice. If you are happy with your present scenario then pick that scenario but if you would like to make a change, then pick the scenario you would like to change to.

For example, I am married with children while both my husband and I are employed. Number 8 is my present scenario. However, I dream of changing that scenario to Number 6!

Choose one...only one!











1. Married without children and not employed while husband employed?
2. Married without children and self employed while husband employed?
3. Married without children while employed and husband not employed?
4. Married without children while both employed?
5. Married with children and not employed while husband employed?
6. Married with children and self employed while husband employed?
7. Married with children while employed and husband not employed?
8. Married with children while both employed?
10. Divorced?
11. Divorced with children?

Instructions:

Respond by clicking on the Post a Comment button below ONLY. Type your age, the number of your present scenario and then the number of the scenario you would change to.  Remember, you may choose your present scenario if you are happy in that scenario.

 For example, I would type the following answer based on my life.
 Age 41, Number 8 to Number 6

No name needed. Let's remain anonymous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(If you respond on our Facebook page we will know who you are....we don't want to know! Please click on the post a comment below and click anonymous.)

Stay tuned for the follow up post based on all of our responses.
Until I blog again,
Tiffany

MARRIAGE:'Panty On!'

"To be a good wife and a good mother you must begin by being a good you!" 

To be a good Tiffany my hair has to look right! If I am not having a good hair day, the Hall family is not a happy family. Trivial maybe, but true.

Yesterday I sat at my desk and wondered if my curls would last another day.

Hmmm...


I washed my hair on Monday night and had an exceptional good healthy hair Tuesday! 

Yahooligans!

Since the curls were ringing just right, maybe they could last another day.

Maybe....

Now, there is nothing I hate more than when I wake up and one side of my hair has curls and the other does not.This lopsided hair drama has the potential for happening when I go to be bed with my hair exposed. This is great for my marriage because I look like the women on television who lay on their pillows with loose tendrils. Eric can run his hands through my hair or tug it a little maybe... but nonetheless the loose hair is an attractive accessory with my pajamas.

And so here I am clean face out of the shower, hair wild and free ready for Eric to walk through the bedroom door and utter,"What you saying?"

Ah yeah no!
Are you crazy? 
I can't go to sleep with my hair like this. 

Here's why.

1. My hair will be mashed up in the morning.
2. My hair will break.
3. My hair will be dry.
4. My hair will need styling in the morning.

I have no time at 5:00 a.m. to be hot curling and pinning up. 

So to avoid me having a bad hair day this my dear readers is how I Tiffany go to bed. I have to do this because it works for me. 

Yes I use rollers!
Yes they still make rollers!
Yes rollers are still good for my hair!

Now if you're thinking, jeez this is how she goes to bed with her husband then you will think I am absolutely insane when you see this next photo.

"Is that what I think it is Tiffany?"
You may be asking. Is that a...
Are you serious?

Dead serious!

Yes! I have a panty on my head!!!!!!!

Here is a better view!

When I don't feel like roller setting my hair I wear a pair of lace panties. They are absolutely fabulous for keeping my curls without mashing them up. I pull my curls through the openings for the legs! 

Voila!

When I shared this with a friend of mine she bought me a black bonnet but the bonnet does not work for me. My curls are mashed without a doubt!

Remember you have to do what works for you! And so I sleep with a panty on my head for the welfare of my family!  

Don't judge me! 

Here's my point. In a recent post I wrote about putting your husband on the list. It is important to consider your husband however, you have to consider yourself too. 

Eric knows how important my hair is to me. He knows I can go to bed looking good for him but I will be a grumpy-mcgrumperton the next day when I have a bad hair day. When your husband loves you he will consider your feelings. 

Does Eric like this...hell no but this one is a deal breaker for me. I have to do what works for my hair.

You have to do what works for you too! A marriage will be a more pleasant one with two individuals who respect one another and the quirks they bring to the table.

This is my daughter and I. Look at her face. That is the sign of a happy kid. She is happy because she has a happy mother. She has a happy mother because I sleep with rollers or a panty on my head.

I do what works for me!

Until I blog again,
Tiffany
P.S.


I do my endeavour best to make sure my hair is wild and free for Eric during you know what! Gotta have the curls out for the fun!

Marriage: I Picked Well!

Eric and I 

It's Thursday morning, December 19th, 2013 and with all certainty I can say that I picked well.

Eric has and continues to be the best teammate I could ever ask for.

His shoulders are wide, his grip is secure, his feet are planted and his heart is in our marriage.

I know I am a piece of work at times...once a month for sure but somehow this man is there for me...Tiffany.

Did I see his honour when we were dating? Yes!
Did I feel his loyalty to our relationship? Yes I did!
Did I believe his character was authentic? Absolutely!

I married Eric because life is hard, the struggle is real, but he is the best man I know. I will walk with him. I will run with him. I will pant with him. I will celebrate with him. I may pout, complain, moan and whine while I do but I still choose Eric.

Yes there are moments where the single life is tempting, but this man, what he adds to my life is so much more.

This morning while internet surfing, I glanced upon this link on the Msn Homepage. As I read it, I realized that I need to do more in my marriage. I need to be to Eric what Eric is to me. I want him to feel as he makes me feel.

Click on the link. It's an easy read. It won't take you more than seven minutes. Maybe this will inspire you too!

Until I blog again,
Tiffany

The 10 habits that keep marriages strong

http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/love-sex/the-10-habits-that-keep-marriages-strong-1

Tyler, Tyler, Tyler....

courtesy of tylerperrystemptation.webstarts.com

Last night we finally went to the movies to watch Tyler Perry's Temptations. Lord help us!
Can you tell I am not a big Tyler Perry fan?

The movie was about marriage.
I'm married.
Let's go to the movies!



Now I will not reveal the plot but here is a summary.

Two teenagers get permission to get married at nineteen. They grow up and live a married life.  The wife is feeling unfulfilled, bored and taken for granted. The wife has a job as a marriage counselor at a matchmaking firm. In walks a single man who is attracted to her. She reveals as a good Christian woman she has only been with her husband. This single man is wealthy and requests her service to assist him on a project. While working in close proximity the woman is tempted by the man.

The main character went from 

devoted fully covered wife.

courtesy of www.guardian.co.uk

To being tempted wife.

courtesy of www.guardian.co.uk

To turned out wife.

courtesy of movies.yahoo.com

After viewing, the moral to this storyline is simple. Don't get married when you are nineteen. Live your life. Figure out who you want to be. Figure out what you like from what you do like. You need to know before you commit to marriage. Why? Because one day a wealthy, white teeth, well-dressed man is going to walk into your world. At this point you need to know what to do. If you get married at nineteen you won't know what to do.


Did I enjoy the movie?
Not so much!

Did I relate to the movie?
Not so much!

Did I learn anything from the movie?
Not so much!

Would I recommend this movie?
Not so much!

How would I change the movie?
The married couple would have had children.

That's when the boredom, unfulfilled, taking for granted feeling is intensified because all energies are spent on the children. Funds are affected so less dinners, less travel, less dates. Details are forgotten because children information consumes the brain; their schedules, their needs, their wants etc.

If this couple had children then I would have related to the movie.

I would have reunited the woman with an ex-lover, someone from college who is not a complete stranger. We all have that dude from our past who if they walked back into our lives we would accept a dinner invitation, talk about old times, laugh and talk and reconnect. The idea of 'let's do it one more time for good times sake' is more realistic for a wife from someone she has been with before than a complete stranger.

It would be difficult, damned near impossible for a strange man to woo me off my feet in 2013 with all the diseases roaming about and I have a good husband at home.

If this woman ran into an ex and they reconnected then I would have related to being tempted.

I did not relate to this movie despite it being about marriage. I did not get married at nineteen. I did not marry my first love. I do not work in an environment that totally goes against my morals. No wealthy guy can woo me off my feet because I am immediately suspicious of men who spend lots of money on women. No single guy can woo me off my feet because at this stage of my life, if you aren't married at my age and you have never been married, you are crazy or gay.

As for Tyler Perry's ability to produce a movie, that is an entirely different blog. People, I am a Shonda Rimes fan. I need plots to unfold, to develop, to surprise, to tear at my heart, my soul and make me ponder about my life.

Tyler Perry!
Not so much!

Tiffany

WORD ASSOCIATION GAME:

So I'm expected to follow that post?!?!  Thanks Tiffany! LOL. I must say that it shows that you and Eric are truly best friends.

Ok now me....LOL (oh Lord what is Candi about to talk about)

I will play the association game. 

Hmmm....a word that I would associate with my marriage....let me think..........CHALLENGING! :)

It's so funny, I was recently at a cousin's wedding and while at the church waiting on the ceremony to begin I leaned over to my sister and said "Damn, people still doin' this? Really!?" and of course we broke into laughter because we both knew our cousin (the Bride) had no clue what was ahead of her.  Sounds kinda mean, but hey it's the truth. LOL

If it's one thing I would have appreciated was someone telling me prior to getting married was just how hard this sh*t is! (please don't be offended by my half curse word)  Tell me the nitty gritty, hold nothing back, and don't put a bow on it.  But I guess you have to live it to understand it, huh?  Maybe that's why people are still getting married. :)

My husband, Deran, and I have been together a total of 7 years, married for 4 years and it feels like 20! (*insert straight face emoticon here*) We've been through ALOT just like I'm sure many of you married couples out there have been through as well.  It hasn't been easy and no one told me that I would want to choke my husband about once a day...LOL...(ok, not that often but it's alot...haha)   

But it is hard. And it is work.  It is hard work and with all jokes aside, marriage is a roller coaster and you have to know there will be bumpy times, scary times, happy times, crying times, laughing times, "you better leave me the hell alone before I say something" times, lovey dovey times, bonding times, and the list goes on.  It takes strong communication, commitment, compromise, reassurance, sorry's, constant rejuvenation, lots of forgetting and Love :)  

Deran is actually sitting next to me reading this post and he approves this message. haha

Deran and I @ a friend's wedding

Anyone else want to play the association game and describe their marriage?

Signed, 
Saying this thing called marriage is hard, Candilaria   

 

The 20 Best Things You Can Do For Your Relationship

MARRIAGE:

Let's play the word association game. What words would you associate with the word marriage?

Commitment
Compromise
Companionship...

I believe it is fair to state that the words you relate to your marriage are dependent upon how many years you have been married. Newlyweds have a different perspective from others who have been married for five years, twenty-five or fifty years of marriage.

Eric and I will celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary this July. I can think of many words, but my number one word for my marriage is friendship. Eric was my friend then and he is my best friend now. It is my goal to continue to make the choices to ensure he is  my best friend twenty years from now.

Eric and I
My Best Friend




 
But how?
 
Below is a link to an article titled The 20 Best Things You Can Do For Your Relationship. The article is written by real married couples and people who have seen, studied, and lived really good love.
 
The advice is practical and relative. Some advice tips are 'Don't try to change what you fell for', 'Be silly', 'Get a reliable baby sitter' and  'Get yourself in the mood'.

The Link is below. Check it out. Make your marriage the best marriage you have ever had!

http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/love-sex/the-20-best-things-you-can-do-for-your-relationship-1#1

Eric's friend,
Tiffany