I Did It for Me!

I confess, today was not the first time used my right to vote.

 But today was the first time I voted for something which felt 

unavoidably meaningful!

I voted for the two little hands you see above. 

One hand belongs to my son. 

One hand belongs to my daughter. 

May they have an ability to make the exact same choice and be treated equally. 

Period. 

That's it! 

Until I vote again,

Tiffany

Chance Encounters

I love running into the right people at the right time, don't you?

However and wherever you run into them, it was exactly what you needed.

That happened to me yesterday.

I ran into a friend (whom I connected with through Married Working Mothers btw), and we chatted for a few minutes to catch up on what's been happening in our lives. We've been meaning to get together for lunch but somehow we both seemed too busy "hustlin". But we were placed in each other's path yesterday, to motivate each other.

These past couple of months have been difficult for me, financially. Trying to build something from scratch isn't easy. And self-motivation is required DAILY, whether you want to show up or not. While talking to my friend, we realized how much our lives paralleled each other and agreed that our brief meeting was exactly what we both needed. It reminded us that we weren't alone or crazy, and how important it is to have people that are doing what you're doing (whatever it is) around you.

SHIT IS REAL OUT HERE ON YOUR OWN!

I continue to receive the comments about going back to a nine to five. Why would I torture myself without a steady pay? My answer to that is, 

Because I feel strongly in what I'm doing. And I love it. I believe in it. I believe in myself. 

For those that are in the very same position or soon to be,

Here's a quick story...

I've always been into fitness and clean eating. I am pretty consistent when it comes to exercising and what I eat. However, at the end of March I set my eyes on a goal of what I wanted my body to look like. With that in mind, I knew I had to amp up on the amount of days I exercised and be more strict with my diet (for those who know me are probably rolling their eyes, because how much more strict can Candi get!). So that's what I did. I began exercising 5 days a week. Something I have never done in my entire life (I used to exercise 2-3 times a week).

What was the point of the story?

"To achieve something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before." 


It's not a short term goal but a life-long one.

Believe it or not my NEWER fitness goals have assisted me tremendously in my business goals. Only recently mind you. When I don't feel like going running or going to Crossfit, I go anyway. Some days are very difficult, mentally, emotionally, and physically, but I do it anyway. So when I don't feel like staying up late to edit a video, work on a blog post, work on an art piece, or doing research, I do it anyway. I just do it.

In order to achieve a business I've never had before, I must work like I have never done before.

JUST DO IT.

Signed, 
#SeeMiHaffiWorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork
Candilaria

Story of the Staycation Sunglasses!

It's May, the month of the Annual Mother's Day Staycation! Yup I checked into a Bed and Breakfast for the weekend, just me, no husband, no children and no bra! Sigh....

I live for this weekend every year. Every year I always have a great plan to get dressed up and go to a five star restaurant for an expensive multi course dinner alone, yes alone!!! But each year it never happens. Every year I always have a great plan to finish reading a novel. But each year it never happens. Every year I always have a great plan to go out dancing and stay out until dawn. But each year it never happens.

What happens? You guessed it... I sleep! Every damn year! On Saturday afternoon I opened my eyes at 1pm and kept them open to snap the images above. I sat on the balcony gazing at the waves break on the reef in the distance pondering the hours I wasted asleep. Seriously, who runs away from home to snooze? Apparently, I do!

Was I disappointed in my choice to exist? Was I disappointed in my lack of desire to change out of my sarong? Was I disappointed in my lack of adventure? Honestly? Yes!

Sigh...

But not for friggin long! #itiredman

With two kids, a husband, a house, a job and no housekeeper and natural hair, on any given day there is homework, housework, sexwork ( not a word, just made it up but I bet you know what it means) and hairwork ( not a word either but my naturalistas know the process of maintaining a fly ass poof!)

With that said, I have some advice for those of you considering a Mother's Day Staycation!

5 Do's and Don'ts of a Mother's Day Staycation!

1. Don't Make Plans...

    This time away is for you! It's okay if you decide at the spur of the moment

    you want to leave the property, but let it be sporadic! Don't make plans you

    have to cancel. I made reservations at a restaurant. I failed to show up!

    Oops!

2. Do Take Supplies...

    Pack everything you think you will need. Alcohol, snacks, books, magazines,

    fingernail polish, remover, etc. Take all you think you will need to avoid

    leaving the property. Also make sure you pack the correct quantity. This

    weekend I left in search of wine only because I ran out! Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   

3. Do Your Research...

    Make sure the resort is what you desire. Do you want a kitchenette or is a

    beautiful view more important? Do you want a large garden tub or is a

    shower sufficient? Steps or elevator? Pool or not so much? Tripadvisor 

    and Booking.yeah are my best friends. I read reviews, look at customer

    photos etc. This year I visited a new property. With that said, I  knew what to

    expect. The last experience you want is to be utterly uncomfortable with a

    property for an entire staycation!

4. Do Pack Wisely

    Do forget your bra or maybe not. This year I wore a sarong for the entire

    time. But when I needed to go to Bristol I had no bra! Oh well, to the liquor

    store I went in my bikini and sarong! Sure did! And guess what, no one

    cared! It is a pet peeve of mine to forget something I need. I forgot my Dove

    Soap and my face wash! Smt! I had intentions of going to purchase these

    items but I never made it. I have two pimples on my face now because of a

    lack of planning!

5. Don't Extend Invitations

    Lord knows my children would enjoy an afternoon of fun and sun by the pool!

    Maybe I should let them come for a few hours? I had that thought one year.

    Really, I did! Oh hell no! Never happened. Candi bought me back to my

    senses real quick! Remember this is your weekend!

    This year I considered inviting a girlfriend over so we could catch up

    with some 'girl time'.... Nope I digested that thought too. Good thing because

    I would have cancelled that lunch date. At lunch time I was still in bed!!!!!!!!

Ladies, do try a staycation whether alone or with girlfriends. It has always been a vision of ours for Married Working Mothers to host a staycation. Each year on the drive home I feel rejuvenated to plan the 1st Annual MWM's Staycation. Imagine us at a resort, chillaxing whether in a room or by the pool....

Until I blog again,
Tiffany

10 Reasons to STOP wearing a Bra

Yesterday, as I was walking out of my front door, I had a feeling of free-ness. I felt my body and realized, Ah, I wasn't wearing a bra. Hmmmm, how did that happen? I usually put on my under garments before anything else. How did I manage to NOT put on a bra?! Perhaps it was due to my subconscious thoughts of damning all bras to hell.

Braless Diana

Mind you, I am a woman very much caught up in the bra world. I need it. It's a comfort for me. Or I think I need it. It helps to make these boobies look like "sense". I mean, I have two children, whom I breastfed. I'm in my mid-thirties, and naturally breasts won't be as firm, supple and sticky, right? I don't have breasts like a teenager anymore, so I need something to MAKE them look that way again, right?

I suppose the role of the bra as always been for aesthetics and possibly as well as the "need" for breasts to be covered up. Even UNDER all of your clothing? Weird.

We aren't comfortable enough for loose boobies. Or maybe we are getting there, as somehow I managed to forget to put a bra on the other day. Now, I don't have big boobies and it may be the reason why I am able to give up wearing a bra a bit more readily than others. (But please remember, small don't mean a thing!) Some women need them for the support for much bigger boobies because without them they feel too heavy. Whatever the reasons are, 

Here is my list of 10 reasons why we should just give up wearing a bra...

10. No more variety of bra sizes to choose from in your drawer.  If you're anything like me, I have different size cups and back sizes. From 32B to 34D. I didn't always have small boobies, ya know! :)

 9. #10 leads to SAVING MONEY! Who doesn't like saving money, though?

 8. It makes it easier to BREASTFEED! If you are breastfeeding, kudos to you. It's not easy. So why not make things simpler when you can. Nix the bra and always be ready and available to feed!

 7. Better breathing! You know sometimes the bra is too tight, hey. 

 6. Prevents dents and marks. Tight bras or the wrong size bras lead to dents in the shoulders and marks about the body. Don't abuse yourself that way.

 5. We've done away with the corset, so why not the Bra too?! Corsets were sexy but how beneficial were they and to whom?

 4. You know that feeling you get when you take off your bra when you arrive home?  Yeah that, ALL THE TIME! Enough said.

 3. It really doesn't help to improve the lift of your breasts. If you think the bra is helping to lift your breasts so that they don't sag, (and is why you secretly sleep with one on as well) you are sadly mistaken. It actually trains your muscles to depend on something else to support them and so the muscles go on a long ass vacation.

 2. It allows us to learn to love and accept our bodies as they are. To be able to be confident in your body and all it's natural beauty should always be the goal.

 1. Because it is hella SEXY! How incredibly sexy did I feel yesterday without it?! Very! A liberating feeling and probably because I gave zero fucks. 

I don't say all of this to say that it won't be difficult. It's hard even for me to do. But I'm working at it. Yesterday, as I exited the house I hesitated for a few minutes trying to decide if I should go back in the house for a bra. My husband then looks at me and says, "your level of confidence or lack thereof is directly related to other people." I knew the words coming out of his mouth all too well but hearing it at that moment struck a cord.

He was right. Most times our confidence is based on what other people will think or say (especially behind our backs). Walking around without a bra when you don't want to is to please others, not you. But here's the kicker, what we think other people are thinking may not even be what they are in fact thinking!

So I say, if you want to go sans bra, DO IT! If the "others" have a problem with it, tell them to close their eyes! LOL

**Disclaimer** I still encourage sports bras for exercise because boobies bouncing up and down can hurt and is just downright annoying!


Signed, 
#IAmFreeBoobingIt #FuckBras #ExceptOnlyWhenISeeACuteSetAtVickiSecrets #ILieEvenThenFuckBrasCuzTheyCostTooMuch

Candilaria

I Don't Want To!

Channing, my daughter!

This is her beautiful crown of hair!

It's Sunday night.
Time to comb her hair for school in the morning!

"I DON"T WANT TO"!

Good night ladies....

Until I blog again

Tiffany