GUEST BLOG: Puffy Hair Please!

“I want puffy hair like you, Mommy” said my then 3 year old.  “Please, please make my hair puffy like yours,” she pleaded. At the time, I wore my naturally kinky hair in a big afro puff that was like a huge black halo around my head. My daughter’s hair was the exact opposite of mine.  While my tightly curled hair reflects my strong African roots, my daughter’s loose curls reflect her diverse, multicultural heritage.  My husband and I were blessed to adopt her at birth and were pleasantly surprised when she started growing a headful of unique, silky curls as a toddler.

It was so strange to me that my baby wanted “puffy hair” when her own hair was amazingly beautiful.  Perfect strangers stopped us on the street to ask how she got such great hair.  Children and teachers at school would often pull one of her curls just to marvel at how it would spring back into place with an imaginary “BOIIIINNNGG!” sound.

I have since cut my hair and my daughter has learned to appreciate her own beauty.  But this conversation made a mark on my mommy-heart.  This conversation with my innocent little girl showed me that we mothers have power.  Our daughters look to us as their first image of beauty.  They want to be just like us – right down to our puffy hair. They compare and contrast themselves to us to see how they measure up.  They look to us for affirmation, seeking our eyes for approval.  Ultimately they want to know that we see them as beautiful and valuable.

And those little probing eyes look for something else.  They look deep into our souls to see if we truly believe in our own beauty as women.  Children have an amazing way of seeing the truth – no matter what we try to hide.  They can tell if we’re insecure women.  They can sense it if we don’t feel good about our looks or don’t value ourselves.  We can talk to our daughters all day long about how amazing they are as young women, but if they know that mama has no self-worth and has low self-esteem our message falls on deaf ears.  As moms, we have to do more than talk to our daughters about self-esteem.  We have to believe the message and live it.

Pretty Brown Girl ( is an organization that is dedicated to uplifting the self-esteem of girls and their mothers.  Just a year ago, my co-leader Anita Bain and I brought this amazing organization to Nassau and made Pretty Brown Girl Club #14 the first club outside of the United States.  We currently have 35 girls in our club and conduct innovative and fun monthly activities designed to let girls know that they are beautiful and capable just the way they are.  We’ve had so much interest from girls and their mothers, that we’re now reaching out in the wider community by putting on Nassau’s first ever Mother-Daughter conference on May 3rd at the British Colonial Hilton.

“Building Leaders From The Inside Out” Mother-Daughter conference will feature dynamic presenters and exciting hands-on activities to inspire and uplift girls ages 6-16 and their mothers. Sheri Crawley, the founder of Pretty Brown Girl from Detroit, Michigan, will be here to share her vision with moms and daughters.  Candilaria Thompson and Tiffany Hall, the founders of this amazing blog, will also be in attendance with an empowering message for moms.  
The entire event is only $5 per person.  The ticket price is low because we believe that building the self-esteem of girls and women is critical to improving our society.

So come out on May 3rd, bring your daughter and spend a day together celebrating your beauty.  Send a message to your daughter that she is AMAZING.  And send a message to yourself that you are worthy, you are talented and you are unique! Let’s throw off the chains of insecurity and start creating a nation of women who love and respect themselves one girl at a time!
Written By:
Yolanda Darville
Yolanda Darville is a wife, mom, freelance writer and nonprofit strategist.  She is the co-founder of Pretty Brown Girl Club #14 in Nassau, Bahamas.

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