I was wrecking my brain all week wondering what on earth I was going to blog about today.
You see, writing doesn't come naturally to me. So, why start a blog, right?!
Well, in the beginning I wrote more as if I was writing a page in a journal and maybe I was in a different mental space then. But after gaining some momentum and a bigger audience I steered away from that a bit by wanting to spew information, like how music can heal the world, or what's in your purse, etc.
I posted this picture earlier in the week on our Facebook page.
Later that day, Mr. Thompson (my husband) sent that very same picture back to me in a whatsapp conversation we were having.
Ouch. I had to make a decision because how can I post things that didn't necessarily reflect how I felt at that time?!
I got off track from being authentically Candi during those times and posting became difficult.
It became difficult because I didn't want to sound negative or ungrateful about my life to others if I posted how I was truly feeling. So I would hide what I was naturally feeling or what I really wanted to say.
That was not fair. And I wasn't feeling connected to my audience.
It's easy to slip into posting inspirational quotes, messages, posts on how to make life easier, or lists on how to live happy. I felt I had to keep everyone upbeat on their daily journeys by saying those things even when I wasn't always feeling it myself.
But that wasn't the reason we started this blog! We created the blog to talk about the hard things! To be promoters of AUTHENTICITY! And I wasn't holding up my end of the deal. Mind you, Tiffany would always know how I was feeling at that moment but the community we are trying to build didn't. Sure, there are things in our lives that will be kept private, that's understood. But for the most part, I have to stay true to Candi and just be me. I am me.
|See there, it says it right on my wrist!!! i am me.|
Believe it or not, I am an introvert. That doesn't mean that I don't like to go out, but I prefer it to be with persons closest to me (which are very few). I love to be alone, in my own space and while that is not how my life is set up, I have to steal moments of being by myself. Which is difficult for both myself and family to deal with. Being a wife and mother are two of the most challenging things I've ever had to do. Sometimes, I don't feel I'm very good at either of them and there are other times where I feel like quitting. We all have our bad days. It's hard, and at times it's hard trying to accept the present moments for what they are.
So there you go.
The best decision you can make for yourself is to simply BE YOU. You can't embark on things if they do not align with who you are. You cannot speak passionately on topics from an angle other than what you are feeling or what you believe. You cannot live your life worried what others (including your family) will think of you, your thoughts, or your situations.
You have to have faith that by being who you truly are, you will touch someone somewhere and you will help them with whatever it is they are going through.
That is all anyone can do.
I am me, Candilaria