IT AIN'T ABOUT THE "USED TO" CHICK


I saw this post on Facebook...





So, help me figure this one out. 


1. Is she saying he USED TO Direct Message (DM) the 'chick' before they met?

or

2. Is she saying he USED TO DM the 'chick' DURING their relationship but BEFORE they got married?

and

3. Why is the 'chick' all dressed up? Is she a bridesmaid or something? A wedding guest maybe?



My immediate thought upon seeing this was, why are we focused on the 'used to' chick? And why is the language directed at her so negative & nasty? 


What about the possible not so "used to" man?

No where in the caption was anything said about the man's behaviour! 

As women, why do we continue to focus on the other woman? Completely turning a blind eye on him and his behaviour.

Let's go through the above options...

If #1 was the case, then there is no reason for you to say a thing. We have all been there. We are ALL someone's ex. And for whatever reason, you both didn't work out and so you both became that someone that she/he didn't go further with. Whether one of you felt salty about it or not.

On to Option #2, So this dude was dealing with said "used to" chick for who knows how long but now you're happy because he chose you to be his wife? Where was she during the courtship? Who allowed this kind of interference to occur? The 'used to' chick? My guess is, it wasn't entirely her doing. He had to allow it, did he not? That speaks volumes to his character, not only the way he treated the 'chick' but also the way he treated YOU. What makes you think it will stop once you're married?

And #3, is she your friend??? Why is she at the wedding??? Who invited her? You? Or him? That's just cruel either way.

This is the kind of man you're proud to be with? I'm just saying.

Why do we come up with things like this to continue the competition between women? The constant competition for a man. I'm not naive, I know a certain level of healthy competition exists for very primal basic reasons. However, if someone can easily be pulled away from you then maybe there are some deeper matters to be discussed between the two of you. No need to then tear down other women in the process. (yes I am aware that these women play a role and ought to accept responsibility but certainly not all, not while you go marry or stay with the man she's been doing these things with, and yes I am aware that crazy and ratchet people exist.) Encourage better, but not in an insulting way. 

Little girls for centuries have been taught to aspire to marriage. Not little boys. We are raised and groomed to be the perfect little wife. Meanwhile, boys can sow their royal oats. When we find that ONE man to share the rest of our lives with it's seen as an accomplishment. If we don't, something is wrong with us. Is that our main goal in life? Does the bride think she won at something?

Marriage (in it's current form) doesn't guarantee a damn thing. The divorce rate is approximately 50%. You know at least one couple on the brink, you know one couple that is miserable, you know one couple that don't know what the hell they're doing, you know a couple who there but ain really there, you know one couple faking it, you know one couple where the husband 'sweethearting', and you know another couple where BOTH dealing with side action.

WRAP UP: I'm not shitting on marriage. Marriage can be a beautiful thing. I'm not shittin' on men. I am pro man. I am pro woman. I am pro 7 billion of us. What I am shitting on is the constant UNNECESSARY match-up between women. Go compete for a job. Or better yet, compete against yourself and make you better. Let's lift each other up while we are doing it. When you know better, you do better.


Signed, 
#SupportWomen
 Candilaria





What happened to 'NO JOCKEY DAY'?


Were any of you aware that yesterday, June 22, was "No Panty" Day?




Well listen don't feel bad, I forgot too. I knew such a day existed but I have never committed the day to memory.

If you had to be reminded about the day, there is a strong possibility you were reminded by a male. Doesn't matter who the male is really. Nonetheless, it was a male. My hubby reminded me, so there you go!

My question is, when will there be a "NO JOCKEY" Day????



When will we see some doggie slingin'? 

Side note for my Internationals; 
"Doggie" (noun) - Bahamian slang for male genitals

Question is, do we really want to see loose flaccid penises??? Is that even attractive? Think about it, a bouncin', bobbin' doggie. (I literally busted out laughing as I typed that) Come to think about it, it really isn't all that desirable is it? Not like it is for a man knowing that under your clothes there is an exposed vagina. 

Now, why do you think that is?

Is it a form of appreciation? Appreciation of the woman's physical traits? 

My guess is that it is natural for men to be energetically drawn to our bodies. For one very obvious reason. Procreation.

It's so much deeper than that. My thoughts are that there is a fine line between appreciation (because what woman doesn't want her body appreciated???) and objectification. 

Women objectify men as well but that's not what this here post is about. :)

When a woman's body part is singled out and separated from her as a person and is viewed as an object of the male's desire then we have crossed the line.

We all know that this behaviour can have adverse affects on women. According to the study, "Sexual Objectification of Women: Advances to Theory and Research" by Dawn M. Szymanski, Lauren B. Moffitt, and Erika R. Carr, 
this kind of objectification can lead to self-objectification for women causing all sorts of mental health issues. Issues like, increased anxiety about their own physical appearance and opportunities for body shame.

That's NOT cool.

So men (and women), take heed. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little appreciation but let's keep it at that. Women aren't here for YOUR enjoyment. Period. But who knows, maybe one day we will get to the point where flaccid dick slingin' is sexy. My second guess is, maybe not. LOL.


Sincerely, 
Where is #NoJockeyDay
Candilaria 



Don't be THAT parent


2
2 year old, Lane Graves


Picture it, 

You and your family are enjoying your hard earned vacation at the funnest place in the world (for a child). You are relaxing and soaking in the moment. Your 2 year old child is playing innocently near the shoreline, when you hear a loud splashing noise and next thing you know you are witnessing him being captured by a 7 foot alligator and being violently dragged into the water...and just like that he's gone.

YOU fought with your everything to save him from the jaws of this animal. It wasn't enough. YOU watched helplessly. YOU experienced this. YOU are immediately achingly distraught and thoughts of HOW YOU could have let this happen to your child are overwhelming.

There is NO recovery to not only what you've just witnessed, and forever scarred with emotions you will have to endure for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Picture it....Picture it as if it were YOUR child. 

You can't. You try to, but you quickly bring yourself back to reality and are relieved that it WAS NOT your child.

Matt and Melissa Graves DO NOT have that option.


So STOP.


JUST STOP with the UNNECESSARY negative commentary...STOP with the...

"If it were me's", 
"I NEVER take my eyes of my child",
"I ALWAYS make sure I..." 
"Why would they allow the child to go in the water...", 
"Why would they not be near the child..."
"Didn't the sign say 'NO SWIMMING'" 

Off the heels of the Harambe incident at the Cincinnati Zoo, some of the commentary I've seen and read on this matter is yet again ridiculous.


HAVE WE NOT LEARNED TO NOT TO BE THAT PARENT??

Why do we continue to judge OTHER parents and THEIR parenting skills? As if we are the PERFECT parent. The words 'always' and 'never' are two of the most dangerous words you can utter when speaking on a subject you've never experienced. 

It was a tragic, freak accident. End of Story.

I lost my daughter in Disney World. By no means am I comparing the two. I am sharing the fact that for someone as neurotic as me about watching my children, I LOST MY OWN CHILD. The greatest fear I had before we embarked on our family trip came true. Despite taking ALL the safety precautions and chats with the children, it happened. 

Shit happens. And NO ONE is immune to ANYTHING.

So Let's STOP.

Unless there is a situation where the parent(s) have been grossly negligent, let's ease up please.

Being a parent is the hardest thing a human being can take on. We are there to protect our offspring until they are able to be take care of themselves and be on their own. That's it! As basic at that seems we are here to love and protect them. It's hard enough on a daily basis, but even worse when you are being ridiculed by the world for your unintentional actions or lack thereof.

The support for the family has been tremendous. Let's keep supporting them. They have suffered a devastating loss. There are no words for this situation but no words spoken ought to be negative.

My deepest condolences to the Graves family on the lost of their baby boy, Lane Graves. There are no words. Our thoughts are with you during this tremendously difficult time.

Signed, 
#NotAPerfectParent 
Candilaria





Dear Woman on the Front Page of the Newspaper

Dear Woman on the Front Page of the Newspaper Jumping for Joy, 


I promised I wouldn't say anything else about the Referendum held on Tuesday. Welp! I couldn't think of what else I would write on our MARRIED WORKING MOTHERS blog. 

The Bahamian people voted loud and clear...
Courtesy of Caribbean360.com


While, I wasn't surprised by the outcome mainly because of the loud and incessant fear ripping through the island like a damn Tsunami, I was however, profoundly disappointed. That disappointment turned into anger yesterday when I laid my eyes on the woman on the front page of the newspaper. 

There you were, a woman. A WOMAN! With her hands in the air rejoicing. (I don't mean to pick on this particular woman as I do not know her but unfortunately, she is who the newspaper chose to place on their cover.)

You can't be fucking serious.

What exactly are you rejoicing for? What victory do you think you've just won? 

Let's see...Is it because...

1. Your Pastor is the real MVP?

2. You don't trust the existing Government and you stuck it to them good?!

3. "Da foriegners ain coming to take over no more?!"

4. You wanted to spite the Government for 2002's Referendum AND the Gaming Referendum?

5. We ain ga be like them other hedonistic countries like the big bad US of A?!

6. Ain no Sissy marriage 'round here?!"

7. "Dey call me dumb and stupid, so I ga show dem?"

or

8. Maybe you really believe women ought to be less equal than men. Maybe?





Some NO voters had excuses coming from every angle and some others felt they didn't need to give a reason.

Well, I voted YES, to every single bill. My reason was simple. 

Women and men ought to enjoy the same rights. Done. Basic Human Rights 101.

How was I able to come up with that you ask? I isolated these bills for what they were. 

I handled this referendum for what it was and it was NOT A GENERAL FUCKING ELECTION!

The pettiness and spitefulness that spread across our islands were vile and disgusting. Do I trust or care for this current administration? Hell No. Do I think we are a sinking ship because of the lack of leadership? Hell Yeah. Is there accountability and transparency? Hell fucking No. Are these politicians doing pure shit? Ya damn right!

But. What. Does. That. Have. To. Do. With. My. Rights. As. A. Woman. Or. Man?! 

Not a gad damn thing!

So, ok, you don't understand Bill No. 4. I understand that you don't understand. Hopefully, you sought information and advice on the particular bill and if you still decided you were unsure about it then by all means vote No. 

But what happened to Bills 1, 2, and 3???? Yes, I deserve a reason for your NO Vote because it affects me and my family. 


Courtesy of uncyclopedia.wikia.com

Why are we so petrified of change? Change isn't a bad thing. Change is inevitable. Change WILL happen whether you are ready for it or not.


I am angry today. Democracy DID NOT win. Fear, Ignorance, & Politics won on Tuesday.


I am not a proud Bahamian. There is NOTHING to be proud of and it makes me sad.

We have to change the direction this country is going in. Fast. To do that now, we MUST focus our attention on our children. We need to inject more of our love, time, and resources into them. Really TEACH & GUIDE them! EDUCATION is where it's at. 


We must raise stable, loving, and critical thinking children to save our Bahamaland. They are the real investment.

That's all we can hope for at this point.


Signed, 
#INeedToFindHopeAgain
Candilaria



I Did It for Me!


I confess, today was not the first time used my right to vote.
 But today was the first time I voted for something which felt 
unavoidably meaningful!

I voted for the two little hands you see above. 
One hand belongs to my son. 
One hand belongs to my daughter. 
May they have an ability to make the exact same choice and be treated equally

Period. 
That's it! 

Until I vote again,
Tiffany


Chance Encounters


I love running into the right people at the right time, don't you?

However and wherever you run into them, it was exactly what you needed.

That happened to me yesterday.

I ran into a friend (whom I connected with through Married Working Mothers btw), and we chatted for a few minutes to catch up on what's been happening in our lives. We've been meaning to get together for lunch but somehow we both seemed too busy "hustlin". But we were placed in each other's path yesterday, to motivate each other.

These past couple of months have been difficult for me, financially. Trying to build something from scratch isn't easy. And self-motivation is required DAILY, whether you want to show up or not. While talking to my friend, we realized how much our lives paralleled each other and agreed that our brief meeting was exactly what we both needed. It reminded us that we weren't alone or crazy, and how important it is to have people that are doing what you're doing (whatever it is) around you.

SHIT IS REAL OUT HERE ON YOUR OWN!


I continue to receive the comments about going back to a nine to five. Why would I torture myself without a steady pay? My answer to that is, 

Because I feel strongly in what I'm doing. And I love it. I believe in it. I believe in myself. 

For those that are in the very same position or soon to be,

Here's a quick story...


I've always been into fitness and clean eating. I am pretty consistent when it comes to exercising and what I eat. However, at the end of March I set my eyes on a goal of what I wanted my body to look like. With that in mind, I knew I had to amp up on the amount of days I exercised and be more strict with my diet (for those who know me are probably rolling their eyes, because how much more strict can Candi get!). So that's what I did. I began exercising 5 days a week. Something I have never done in my entire life (I used to exercise 2-3 times a week).




What was the point of the story?

"To achieve something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before." 


It's not a short term goal but a life-long one.

Believe it or not my NEWER fitness goals have assisted me tremendously in my business goals. Only recently mind you. When I don't feel like going running or going to Crossfit, I go anyway. Some days are very difficult, mentally, emotionally, and physically, but I do it anyway. So when I don't feel like staying up late to edit a video, work on a blog post, work on an art piece, or doing research, I do it anyway. I just do it.

In order to achieve a business I've never had before, I must work like I have never done before.



JUST DO IT.



Signed, 
#SeeMiHaffiWorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork
Candilaria













Story of the Staycation Sunglasses!



It's May, the month of the Annual Mother's Day Staycation! Yup I checked into a Bed and Breakfast for the weekend, just me, no husband, no children and no bra! Sigh....
I live for this weekend every year. Every year I always have a great plan to get dressed up and go to a five star restaurant for an expensive multi course dinner alone, yes alone!!! But each year it never happens. Every year I always have a great plan to finish reading a novel. But each year it never happens. Every year I always have a great plan to go out dancing and stay out until dawn. But each year it never happens.
What happens? You guessed it... I sleep! Every damn year! On Saturday afternoon I opened my eyes at 1pm and kept them open to snap the images above. I sat on the balcony gazing at the waves break on the reef in the distance pondering the hours I wasted asleep. Seriously, who runs away from home to snooze? Apparently, I do!
Was I disappointed in my choice to exist? Was I disappointed in my lack of desire to change out of my sarong? Was I disappointed in my lack of adventure? Honestly? Yes!
Sigh...
But not for friggin long! #itiredman
With two kids, a husband, a house, a job and no housekeeper and natural hair, on any given day there is homework, housework, sexwork ( not a word, just made it up but I bet you know what it means) and hairwork ( not a word either but my naturalistas know the process of maintaining a fly ass poof!)
With that said, I have some advice for those of you considering a Mother's Day Staycation!
5 Do's and Don'ts of a Mother's Day Staycation!
1. Don't Make Plans...
    This time away is for you! It's okay if you decide at the spur of the moment
    you want to leave the property, but let it be sporadic! Don't make plans you
    have to cancel. I made reservations at a restaurant. I failed to show up!
    Oops!
2. Do Take Supplies...
    Pack everything you think you will need. Alcohol, snacks, books, magazines,
    fingernail polish, remover, etc. Take all you think you will need to avoid
    leaving the property. Also make sure you pack the correct quantity. This
    weekend I left in search of wine only because I ran out! Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
3. Do Your Research...
    Make sure the resort is what you desire. Do you want a kitchenette or is a
    beautiful view more important? Do you want a large garden tub or is a
    shower sufficient? Steps or elevator? Pool or not so much? Tripadvisor 
    and Booking.yeah are my best friends. I read reviews, look at customer
    photos etc. This year I visited a new property. With that said, I  knew what to
    expect. The last experience you want is to be utterly uncomfortable with a
    property for an entire staycation!
4. Do Pack Wisely
    Do forget your bra or maybe not. This year I wore a sarong for the entire
    time. But when I needed to go to Bristol I had no bra! Oh well, to the liquor
    store I went in my bikini and sarong! Sure did! And guess what, no one
    cared! It is a pet peeve of mine to forget something I need. I forgot my Dove
    Soap and my face wash! Smt! I had intentions of going to purchase these
    items but I never made it. I have two pimples on my face now because of a
    lack of planning!
5. Don't Extend Invitations
    Lord knows my children would enjoy an afternoon of fun and sun by the pool!
    Maybe I should let them come for a few hours? I had that thought one year.
    Really, I did! Oh hell no! Never happened. Candi bought me back to my
    senses real quick! Remember this is your weekend!
    This year I considered inviting a girlfriend over so we could catch up
    with some 'girl time'.... Nope I digested that thought too. Good thing because
    I would have cancelled that lunch date. At lunch time I was still in bed!!!!!!!!
Ladies, do try a staycation whether alone or with girlfriends. It has always been a vision of ours for Married Working Mothers to host a staycation. Each year on the drive home I feel rejuvenated to plan the 1st Annual MWM's Staycation. Imagine us at a resort, chillaxing whether in a room or by the pool....

Until I blog again,
Tiffany

10 Reasons to STOP wearing a Bra


Yesterday, as I was walking out of my front door, I had a feeling of free-ness. I felt my body and realized, Ah, I wasn't wearing a bra. Hmmmm, how did that happen? I usually put on my under garments before anything else. How did I manage to NOT put on a bra?! Perhaps it was due to my subconscious thoughts of damning all bras to hell.


Braless Diana

Mind you, I am a woman very much caught up in the bra world. I need it. It's a comfort for me. Or I think I need it. It helps to make these boobies look like "sense". I mean, I have two children, whom I breastfed. I'm in my mid-thirties, and naturally breasts won't be as firm, supple and sticky, right? I don't have breasts like a teenager anymore, so I need something to MAKE them look that way again, right?

I suppose the role of the bra as always been for aesthetics and possibly as well as the "need" for breasts to be covered up. Even UNDER all of your clothing? Weird.

We aren't comfortable enough for loose boobies. Or maybe we are getting there, as somehow I managed to forget to put a bra on the other day. Now, I don't have big boobies and it may be the reason why I am able to give up wearing a bra a bit more readily than others. (But please remember, small don't mean a thing!) Some women need them for the support for much bigger boobies because without them they feel too heavy. Whatever the reasons are, 

Here is my list of 10 reasons why we should just give up wearing a bra...

10. No more variety of bra sizes to choose from in your drawer.  If you're anything like me, I have different size cups and back sizes. From 32B to 34D. I didn't always have small boobies, ya know! :)

 9. #10 leads to SAVING MONEY! Who doesn't like saving money, though?

 8. It makes it easier to BREASTFEED! If you are breastfeeding, kudos to you. It's not easy. So why not make things simpler when you can. Nix the bra and always be ready and available to feed!

 7. Better breathing! You know sometimes the bra is too tight, hey. 

 6. Prevents dents and marks. Tight bras or the wrong size bras lead to dents in the shoulders and marks about the body. Don't abuse yourself that way.

 5. We've done away with the corset, so why not the Bra too?! Corsets were sexy but how beneficial were they and to whom?

 4. You know that feeling you get when you take off your bra when you arrive home?  Yeah that, ALL THE TIME! Enough said.

 3. It really doesn't help to improve the lift of your breasts. If you think the bra is helping to lift your breasts so that they don't sag, (and is why you secretly sleep with one on as well) you are sadly mistaken. It actually trains your muscles to depend on something else to support them and so the muscles go on a long ass vacation.

 2. It allows us to learn to love and accept our bodies as they are. To be able to be confident in your body and all it's natural beauty should always be the goal.

 1. Because it is hella SEXY! How incredibly sexy did I feel yesterday without it?! Very! A liberating feeling and probably because I gave zero fucks. 

I don't say all of this to say that it won't be difficult. It's hard even for me to do. But I'm working at it. Yesterday, as I exited the house I hesitated for a few minutes trying to decide if I should go back in the house for a bra. My husband then looks at me and says, "your level of confidence or lack thereof is directly related to other people." I knew the words coming out of his mouth all too well but hearing it at that moment struck a cord.

He was right. Most times our confidence is based on what other people will think or say (especially behind our backs). Walking around without a bra when you don't want to is to please others, not you. But here's the kicker, what we think other people are thinking may not even be what they are in fact thinking!

So I say, if you want to go sans bra, DO IT! If the "others" have a problem with it, tell them to close their eyes! LOL


**Disclaimer** I still encourage sports bras for exercise because boobies bouncing up and down can hurt and is just downright annoying!


Signed, 
#IAmFreeBoobingIt #FuckBras #ExceptOnlyWhenISeeACuteSetAtVickiSecrets #ILieEvenThenFuckBrasCuzTheyCostTooMuch

Candilaria












I Don't Want To!

Channing, my daughter!
This is her beautiful crown of hair!

It's Sunday night.
Time to comb her hair for school in the morning!




"I DON"T WANT TO"!
Good night ladies....


Until I blog again
Tiffany








WE MASH UP DE ROAD!


WHOOOY!!!!!! Or should I say the road mash we up! LOL. Man, what a time!

I know all of your newsfeeds have been littered with carnival pictures and stories. As promised from last week's blog here is...


MY JUNKANOO CARNIVAL EXPERIENCE
BY TIMELINE 


5:30 a.m.
Yes, 5:30 a.m.!! I woke up not only because my body is used to waking up that time but also I  woke up in anxious anticipation for road fever.  I messaged Tiffany, because I just knew she would be up. We go back and forth about the costumes and logistics of getting to the site.

7:00 A.M.
Showered, fed and packing my bag to head to Tiffany's house to get dressed.

7:30 A.M.
Arrived at Tiffany's house and ensued in lots of girlie things. Makeup, hair, accessorizing and of course girl talk. 

We didn't have our head pieces just yet and so I arrived to Tiffany's house with my hair fixed a certain way to suit the particular head piece we were shown by picture. Come to find out our head pieces became something else and hair had to be re-done! Arghhhh

9:00 A.M. 
Met up with our other junkanoo carnival going friends for pre-road fever pics and shots. Wait did I say shots? I guess I did. **shrugs shoulders** #JudgeYaMa


THE CALM BEFORE DA STORM


NO CLUE WHAT WE WERE SAYING TO EACH OTHER BUT I'M SURE IT WAS NOTHING APPROPRIATE! LOL

PRACTICING, BECAUSE WE LIKE SHENANIGANS! LOL

                 


I READY, LET'S GO!


DAMN! All of that and we haven't even started yet! LOL

10:00 A.M - 10:30 A.M.
We picked up our drawstring backpacks that contained our mug that we would need for dranks for the day. The bag came in handy for keeping my little knick knacks safe like my phone, lipstick, keys, etc. We were then dropped off to the sports centre only just to BEGIN our day for real for real.

We hydrated with water, lots of water because it was hella HOT and mainly because the bar on wheels wasn't open yet. **side eye**

I don't believe I shared which Junkanoo Carnival group my friends and I participated in, did I?  It was Enigma Bahamas! Shout outs to ya!


WAITING FOR THE MARCH TO START, BUT FIRST LET ME TAKE A SELFIE


12:00 P.M. and BEYOND!!!
On de road....more on de road...and on de road some more. 

I'll let the pictures do the talking...


THE BEGINNING

DA CROWD

MIDWAY THROUGH, LIPSTICK GONE AND HOT, BUT TIFF STILL LOOKS GREAT!

DANCING

NO LAW FOR US!
BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO A BOOTY SHOT, JUST TO SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE


Two things I would change during the entire day was, ONE, the route was too long.  At a certain point I marched off the road because I was done! PAHTEE DONE and that was about 9:00pm! Sorry, no evening pictures here because at that point my phone had died. (Remember to pack a backup battery for next time). SECOND, too much stopping to judge. I know the groups have to be judged but it took away from the vibe because it wasn't free flowing. 

I enjoyed the coming together by all my fellow Bahamian people AND non-Bahamian people. There was nothing but love on da streets and really that's what it's all about! 

To the spectators and onlookers out there that may have felt some type of way about Junkanoo Carnival or didn't fully support the event, I hope to see you out there next year rather than be on the sidelines!

Signed, 
#I'sAJunkanooCarnivalist 
Candilaria

Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival 2016


We are in the second year of the recently created Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival and once again it is still met with lots of controversy. Controversy because a lot of people believe we are adopting another country's culture. At least that's the crux of it. As if the concept of "Carnival" is limited to only these countries. 

Well if we look at the definition of "Carnival" according to the Webster Dictionary it means...


: a festival held before Lent that includes music and dancing
:  a event where many people gather to celebrate something

So there we go, I think of Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival as a celebration of Bahamian culture. The food, music, clothing, and essentially the PEOPLE!

I know the focus seems to be on it not being "Junkanoo" enough but come on people, is that the ONLY thing we feel we have to offer?

Do we underestimate the value of our Bahamian people?  

Why does it matter HOW we bring people to experience our culture? Whether it is a festival, a carnival, a concert, an art show, etc. Aren't all of these events universal?

I will let you know this, this Bahamian Gal ga be on da road dis Satdee! Yes, this Married Working Mother. And I ain shame!

Costume from the group Enigma Bahamas, taken from their Facebook page.

Unfortunately, some of my "conservative" people will be overly critical especially when they don't agree with it. Possibly, because they don't agree with dancing half naked in the middle of the street. I, personally don't have an issue with it. The thing is, many of you will dance half naked at Trinidad and Jamaica's carnival. Why? Because you don't want "people" to see you carryin' on bad and require full anonymity or you are just too afraid to throw on that 2 piece and whine up ya body. My body is never where I want it to be but it's not going to stop me from enjoying something. I will be right there jigglin' down the road.

I've always wanted to experience carnival, elsewhere, but for whatever reasons, going never panned out. But I sit here writing this post thinking how proud I am that the very first Carnival I will participate in will be my very own, Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival!!! Where I will celebrate with my beautiful Bahamian people. That's some pretty cool shit.

Because after all, it's about the PEOPLE! So tourists, HERE I COME, this is one Bahamian you will have a good time with :) GET READY!


Stay tuned for my follow up post next week documenting my experience!


Signed, 
#ReadyFaDaRoad, Candilaria 
 

Unbecoming Still....It's Okay!

It's okay...

It's okay if you're not interested in 'uprooting before becoming', but if you are, know that it involves 'painful pushing'.



It's okay if you don't talk to yourself but if you do, be gentle, your younger self is trying the best she can!




It's okay to be afraid to disappoint people and stay safely in a box but if you decide to push one arm out of your neatly decorated name brand box, be prepared for people to leave you, well maybe not leave you, most family members, friends, colleagues etc. will criticize, judge and alienate you! Life will get lonely!




It's okay to be fake but if you must fake, fake the good stuff. #fakeconfidence





It's okay if you don't know what your 'essentials' are because you only know your 'usual sentences', but it's also okay to go deeper, live deeper, exist deeper!



It's okay to choose to be 'caged in a pool' but it's also okay to 'want oceans'. If you 'want oceans', it's also okay to let the caged pool people chit chat while you make footprints in the sand walking towards the ripples of the waves.




It's okay to follow trends and patterns but it's also okay to 'absorb randomness, last chances, risks, strange days and your wild ways'. Go through more hells, and be swallowed up whole by heartache'. We associate heartache with pain as Candi asked..."What if?" What if heartache is the your ability to live intensely? Hmmmm.....




It's okay to not really know what it means to love yourself but it is also okay to want to learn how to 'unbecome' .... you may fall head over heels in love, in love with you!

Until I become,
Tiffany


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