It's Okay


1.
It's okay if it is 8:59 in the morning and you can kill some oysters for breakfast, well lunch and dinner too!



2.
It's okay to let go... 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 RELEASE!!!!

(I love this pic of me. It encapsulates how I feel about being in my 40's!))


3.
It's okay if you hate housework. Just because we have breasts doesn't mean we like to wash bras. It means we want to buy new ones instead!

(Below is a conversation between Candi and I. Her laundry is on the left and mine on the right. Sigh!)



 4.
It's okay if you want to live in a fabulous villa instead of your house.
(TBA: MWM Steak Out/ Fun Run and Bake Sale in aid of our condos at The Pointe)







 5.
It's okay to be a conservationist! Protecting the natural resource one sip at a time.


6.
It's okay to give your locks a deep treatment and go out for a bowl of conch salad. No one has to know there is a plastic bag under your scarf.
 7.
It's okay to unwind at the end of the day like a man. Take your lashes off first though. (Helpful hint: Secure your lashes in their original container. Do not rest on your vanity unprotected. I have already lost two pairs. They literally vanished into thin air!)


8.
It's okay to allow your girlfriend to push you towards new goals. Who cares if you were at a wedding the night before you had to run a 10K for the first time ever!






 9.
It's okay if you and your heels drive into work on Friday. They are just as excited for a great night out on the town!

10.
It's okay to be sad and channel Nina Simone while feeling your emotions, to give them life and escape your body so you can move on!

 


Until I blog again,
Tiffany

Achy shoulders!


This must be the reason why my shoulders are hurting every morning I wake up. Maybe I am entering Mid-Life or do I need a new mattress?

Let's go with the mattress...

No seriously, what if the universe is waiting for us?


What if God is looking at us right now like..."Ain't long now girlies!" (wink wink)!


We on the other hand are complaining about our shoulders hurting, spending money on massages, visits to the chiropractor, ointments, changes in our diet, the list can go on. We may be clueless to the true source of our aches.

That's it isn't it!
We think we have time!
What a load of crap! 

Been to a funeral lately? I have! Apparently we will die!
This post is short and sweet...."Use the gifts you were given!"

If your gift is writing then write!
If your gift is talking then talk!
If your gift is listening then listen!
If your gift is drawing, painting, carving then go do that!
If your gift is planning then plan!
If your gift is singing then sing!

Just use them! Steal a moment to tap into your talentsssssssssssssssssssss!

courtesy of http://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/sarah-tucker-styles-1750716?post=2608132043&blog=1750716&frame_type=b&viewer=true

I love it..."I want everyday to make God belly laugh, glad he gave life to someone who loves the gift."

Now go make God belly laugh!
Until I blog again,
Tiffany

Confessions....I Wish!

Add caption www.greenleft.org.au
This is a photograph of Nina Simone, an American singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger, and civil rights activist who worked in a broad range of musical styles including classical, jazz, blues, folk, R&B, gospel, and pop.

Look at the expression on her face.

Her downcast eyes, the tilt of her head propped up by her resilient fingers, and her paltry lips  show a woman in contemplative thought.

I know weight.
I know contemplation.
I know this expression.






One of my favourite songs by Nina Simone is titled 'I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free'. The first and second verses express a desire to be free from 'all the chains holding me' and to 'remove all the bars that keep us apart'. The third verse, my favorite, longs to 'live like I'm longin to live'... The last verse describes a wish to 'soar, to the sun and look down at the sea'!

Read the lyrics below. Read them slowly...


"I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free"

I wish I knew how
It would feel to be free,
I wish I could break
All the chains holding me.
I wish I could say
All the things that I should say,
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear.

I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart,
Remove all the bars
That keep us apart.
I wish you could know
What it means to be me,
Then you'd see and agree
That every man should be free.

I wish I could give
All I'm longin' to give,
I wish I could live
Like I'm longin' to live.
I wish I could do
All the things that I can do,
Though I'm way overdue

I'd be starting anew.

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky,
How sweet it would be
If I found out I could fly.
I'd soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
And I sing 'cause I know.
Yea I sing cause I know
Though I'm way overdue
I'd be starting anew.

At 42 years of age, I have been married for seven years, I am the mother of two children and have been employed in the same career for twenty years; confining chains, buried desires and dreaming of another life I want to live are all too familiar. 

During my separation in my first marriage, my ex-husband confessed how many strides he'd made in his career now that he no longer had to be concerned with a wife. His words were hurtful back then, those words are meaningful today.

In 2002 my ex-husband was free to pursue the life he wanted. He was free to work long hours, free to travel at will, free to eat or drink without having to regard a wife nor children. He did not enter a house in anticipation of his wife's mood, he did not leave a 'fun' event because it was getting close to the wee hours of the morning. He lived! He was free!

I get it!

His appreciation for freedom wasn't about getting away from me but it was discovering more of him. He had goals for his life. On his morning drive to work he saw a better him unfortunately, at that time I was not as ambitious. I was settled. Imagine being married to lil ole twenty-five year old me who was happy with two boiled eggs for breakfast wheras he wanted eggs served with crispy prosciutto along with a jumbo lump crab hash! 

To eat a fancy breakfast requires work, work outside of the home, work away from his wife. After working so hard to achieve a fancy breakfast he wanted to play in order to establish balance in his life. Me, I wanted to stay home and eat boiled eggs. I wasn't in pursuit of a dream, so I didn't work as hard and so I did not need to play as hard!

My marriage ended!

Let Nina Simone tell it, Nate wanted to soar to the sun and look down at the sea. No wife needed....

At 42, my taste buds love boiled eggs (I always will) but my palate is ready for prosciutto! What is wrong with me? I love my husband, I do (my eyes tear up as I type). It was only a few years ago I cried because I wanted to be married so badly. Being with Eric was my end all be all, he was my boiled egg yet now the routine of marriage feels like a chain around one of my ankles. I love Eric but how do I love and soar while maintaining the responsibilities and expectations of marriage? How do iron, clean, fold clothes and pursue a dream?

I love my children. The joy of seeing a positive pregnancy test twice was priceless. Two memories I can relive at the drop of a hat. The day they were born healthy sigh...no words. We did it. God has blessed us with a family yet the responsibility and mundane schedules of parenthood  is a chain around my waist. I love my children but how does Tiffany find out if she can fly while doing school pick up?

I am employed but my career is a tightening chain gripping my neck. For as long as I have known myself I wanted to be a teacher. My students know I care. I am that cool teacher, mentor, friend...the one who you can talk to about anything. Yet my classroom has become a safe prison cell. How can I remove the bars and eave this job with bills to pay in pursuit of Tiffany's purpose?

And so I sing Nina Simone's song from the depth of my soul. It encapsulates my emotions succinctly.

Can I just be free?

But hey wait a minute is this an accurate question?

I love my husband. I have no intention of leaving my marriage. I fought to be married, again.

But wait, I love my children. I can't imagine my life without them. I want to parent my children. I don't take that responsibility lightly.

Sooooooo is freedom from my family what I'm seeking? Do I want to run away? (Don't ask me this question between the hours of 7-9pm)

But seriously...no. I don't want to leave. I have no intention of leaving. I am not seeking freedom from individuals. What am I seeking? Hmmm! 

I want freedom to be me, not wife, not mother, not teacher but Tiffany! 

Dónde estás Tiffany?
Où êtes-vous Tiffany?
Wo sind Sie Tiffany?
Where are you Tiffany?

Here I am!
I am alive!
I am me!
Look at this woman, the world needs more of her! Unknowingly, the world orbits patiently for her release....

BUT HOW? How can I be her as well as a mother, wife and teacher?

I have no *&^%^& clue!!!!!

Where are the women from the older generation? I can't be the first woman to experience such emotions. If only I could talk to Nina Simone? What was her inspiration for this song? Did she write these lyrics? If so did how did she navigate life? Are there regrets, lessons learned if she could live life all over again?

Where are the older women in our community? What did they do? Smt!!! Would an older woman talk about a subject like this? Did they allow themselves to be this vulnerable? Did they acknowledge a desire to be more than a mother, more than a wife? I wonder!

They'd probably read my confessions and say stop whining? Get over it? You have life good! Hell someone reading this my own age is thinking, please Tiffany, no one is interested in your pity party! 

That's part of my problem. Who do I talk to about the stages of my life? Who is willing to admit yes, I had or I'm having many days where my husband and children are not my dream? Who can take off the make-up, the designer bag and shoes and whisper, "I am growing right in front of my eyes at a frightening speed?"

Who will sing this verse along with me?

Verse Three

I wish I could give
All I'm longin' to give,
I wish I could live
Like I'm longin' to live.
I wish I could do
All the things that I can do,
Though I'm way overdue

I'd be starting anew.

Anyone?

courtesy of ink361.com


Here is another image of Nina. She appears to be getting dressed to embark upon her day, an event, a performance who knows but I see a woman mustering fortitude. Because why? A girl gotta do what a girl gotta do?


And so I am not leaving my husband to abandon my marriage as my first husband abandoned me. I will not abandon my children for their father to raise them alone. I will continue to love all three of them in every way I can. But I guarantee I will love Tiffany too. 

Verse Four

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky,
How sweet it would be
If I found out I could fly.
I'd soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
And I sing 'cause I know.

Yea I sing cause I know
Though I'm way overdue
I'd be starting anew.

I truly believe I can fly! I will soar at least for one afternoon before I die! 

This will be my legacy for my daughter to remember. One day when she is older whether she decides to be married and have children and she is wiping the tears from her eyes because she is tired and frustrated or if she is a single woman leaving the office after a long day at work she will always strive to pursue her goals and dreams because I want her to remember me, to use these words to describe me. "My mother was a great mother to me yet she found a way to be an extraordinary woman!


"dont't die with your song still inside of you."

Click on the link below to view one of her performances of the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sEP0-8VAow



Keeping myself together until I blog again,
Tiffany








Part Two - Do It!



Congratulations!
The October 2015 'Me Time' Giveaway is awarded to 
Keiani Worrell!

Psst...It really is that easy! 

This month's prize was a bottle of Villa Wolf, our favourite Riesling from our most favourite place 
Ristorante Luciano's of Chicago.


November 2015 
'Me Time' Giveaway Prize
Manicure and Pedicure
courtesy of www.elementssalononline.com

MWM's 'Me Time Giveaway' Rules

Take a pic depicting how you enjoy 'Me Time'. 
Email the pic to us at marriedworkingmothers@gmail.com or Direct Message us on Instagram (@marriedworkingmothers) 

Easy!

1. Submit only one photo per month
2. Deadline for submissions are the first Monday of each month
3. Monthly winners are not eligible for further submissions
4. Keep it Rated PG Ladies!!!!!

Congratulations Keiani!

Until we blog again.
Candi and Tiffany

Do It!

Whether you have been out dancing, hung out with friends at the beach, are reading a good book or relaxing all of those activities celebrate you!

If you haven't had a 'Me Time' moment this month it's not too late!
Do it! Do it now!


After you do, send us a photo. We want to celebrate you too!

Take a pic depicting how you enjoy 'Me Time'. (This is a cheap ploy to encourage you to stop and take a moment for yourself!) Email the pic to us at marriedworkingmothers@gmail.com or Direct Message us on Instagram (@marriedworkingmothers) Easy!

Here are the rules for the MWM 'Me Time Giveaway' once again just in case you forgot!

Here are the rules...

1. Submit only one photo per month
2. Deadline for submissions are the first Monday of each month
3. Monthly winners are not eligible for further submissions
4. Keep it Rated PG Ladies!!!!!

This month's giveaway is a bottle of Villa Wolf Riesling! It is our favourite wine from our home away from home Lucianos.

Happy picture taking! Or send us your favourite pic!






Remember,



Until we blog again,
Tiffany and Candi



A Note From Your Child's Teacher

courtesy of www.takepart.com
Yesterday was Parent-Teacher Conference Day! It was an enjoyable day meeting a variety of pleasant and supportive parents.
By now, all of you should have met your child's teacher. (If you haven't you should be ashamed!)
With that said, by now, all of you have determined whether you like or dislike your child's teacher. If you approve of the teacher great, because you have an entire school year with this individual. If you disapprove yikes, because you have an entire school year with this individual.

NEWS FLASH!
If you like your child's teacher she/he probably likes you too! If you don't like your child's teacher he/she probably doesn't like you either!

WHAT? How dare a teacher not like a parent! Oh believe me, based on some of the parental behavior I have seen in my lifetime, not liking a parent can be quite easy!

Yes I said it! Are you shocked? But why? Teachers have feelings too! More importantly, parents can hurt a teacher's feelings. The nasty notes or email, the choice to report to the principal without talking to teachers first, the gossiping with other parents, the cussin' and carryin' on outside of classroom doors in front of children...I can go on and on with endless stories of how parents treat teachers yet amazingly, they expect teachers to brush it all off!
The professional teachers contain their true feelings for parents far far away from their students but I will tell you a trade secret... psst, you yea you, when you hurt your child's teacher's feelings, your child's teacher will hesitate to love your child the way she/he planned. Teachers love children. How can we not? They spend hours with us and do and say the darndest things.
courtesy of www.hltmag.co.uk
But as easily as we can fall in love with your child, it is also easy to withdraw and love cautiously!
SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!! Sorry. And here's why. When you present yourself to be an asshole of a parent your child's teacher will do whatever she/he can to avoid having to deal with your crazy a&^!
The moral of the story is your relationship with your child's teacher affects your child's entire school year!
Have you ruined your relationship with your child's teacher? Is your teacher standoffish with you? Do you feel like your child is being treated differently than the other children?
Don't fret! I can help. Before I do, here are a few common truths.
courtesy of talesfrompubliced.blogspot.com
One:
Teachers do not wake up in the morning and plot against you nor your child.
Two:
Your child's words are not the gospel truth. Another version from an adult can be plausible.
Three:
Teachers have more than one child in their classroom, at a minimum twenty more like twenty-five unless your child goes to a designer school where you are teaching them to be catered too. (0ops sorry, I let that thought escape! Happy catering!)
Four:
Teachers do not live at school. They have lives! Real lives they enjoy just like you enjoy your life.
Five:
School is the practice place for the real world. Teachers are preparing your child for life as well as the next grade. Our rules, words and actions are based on a scientific teacher theory mastered in teacher school  Class 101, 201 and 301!
Agreed! AGREED!
Now, please allow me to speak on behalf of your child's teacher to share with you all the things she/he cannot say!
courtesy of www.staples.com
Dear Parent,
           This can be a great school year. I value our relationship. As adults let's ensure we treat one another as we would want others to treat us!

  1. Let's smile and say good morning to one another even if we both woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
  2. Let's agree to communicate the good the bad and the ugly. I will share good news about your child, I will share when he/she makes bad choices and I will share disappointing news but the bad news will only help us work towards improvement. Please feel free to do the same. I like to receive good news too. It makes me feel appreciated and valued.
  3. Let's follow the school rules. I did not make them. I think some of our school rules are stupid too but in life there are laws, laws which were made to be followed. If you have never argued with the judge about the validity of a law, please don't argue with me about the laws of our school.
  4. Let's respect one another's professional integrity. I will never come to your job and call you an idiot when you send your daughter to school with her shoulders out on dress up day or your second grade son to school with a cell phone to remember to call his uncle because he may forget to do school pick up. Please do not come to my classroom to call me an idiot when I make mistakes!
  5. Let's believe in one another. Please believe I am a good teacher when you first meet me if only for the reason that the school has employed me. I vow to believe you are a good parent if only for the reason you brushed your teeth and put on clothes and ensured your child did the same before walking into my classroom.
  6. Let's be honest. You and I both know your child's strengths and weaknesses. Forget excuses. No judgments. Let's problem solve to turn those weaknesses into strengths. I want to help. Seriously!
  7. Let's respect one another's time.
  8. Let's think before we speak. Trust me I know how to cuss you out just like you know how to cuss me out! If you do cuss me out, apologize!
  9. Let's agree your child is our number one priority. Not me nor you!
  10. Let's be good examples for your child. He/she is watching us!
This can be a great school year. Let's make it one.

Sincerely,
Your Child's teacher

On a personal note, I have always had great relationships with parents. The golden rule is golden for a reason and not aqua!

As a parent, I consider my children's teachers to be a notch below family. Channing and Chase are with their teachers for hours and hours each day. Their teachers are that extra uncle or aunt.

Think of your child's teacher as their protector while away from you. In September you agreed to entrust your greatest asset to a stranger. If I were you I would get to know this stranger, befriend this stranger and who knows, one day you may call them friend!

Until I blog again,
Tiffany

Time of the Month


courtesy of www.telegraph.co.



She did what? 
Did this story appear on your Facebook news feed a few months ago? If you have a moment click on the link below for the full story.


https://www.google.bs/search?q=london+runner+period&hl=en&biw=1278&bih=629&site=imghp&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAGoVChMIt6mN5cD8xwIVRZUeCh0nFAG2&dpr=2



For those of you with no moments to spare, allow me to paint the picture. 

Imagine you've been training for a marathon for an entire year. The night before your big run your period arrives. You're standing in the bathroom staring at your tampons and sanitary pads which have been waiting with bated breath for a month for your return. "Of all the times for Miss Mary to show up you show up now?" you grumble.  How the hell am I supposed to run a marathon with and I quote from the above article written by Kiran Ghandi, the 26 year old London Marathon runner, with 'a wad of cotton material wedged between my legs'?

Let's continue to imagine...
You walk into your kitchen to get a glass of water and slam the refrigerator door shut. Your irritation mounts. Men don't have to put up with this monthly inconvenience! Men can run marathons cotton wad free! You plop down onto your couch when without warning you give birth to a novice idea.

'Take some midol, bleed freely and run!'



This past weekend Candi and I participated in the 5K Run to Pompey in Exuma Bahamas. Candi blazed through her 3.1 miles achieving her personal best while I on the other hand simply finished…I have a medal to prove it! 







We did it! But what if the night before Candi walked into my room and said, "Girl, how bout my period just showed up. I ain't in the mood for running with a tampon. I think I'm gonna run without one!' 
courtesy of www.memegen.com


So here's the thing. When Miss Ghandi ran this idea by her fellow running mates what were their responses? I assume at some point she had to explain her desire to take a stand for all the women around the world..... but what did they say? And if they didn't say anything what were they thinking?

#illtellyouonething if Candi showed up to Run For Pompey with her period on without the cotton wad of her choosing, sweetness I would not run next to her.(Not like I could anyway because she is so much faster) nor would I have posed in any photos! Or would I?



Think about it... how would you respond to your friend? Look at the picture. Could you pose in a similar photo?

When I look at this photo I think about friendship. WWAFD? What would a friend do? 

What does it mean to be friend? Are friends required to support every decision? Are friends allowed to respectfully decline to support a decision they oppose? 

One of my favourite phrases is 'if you like it, I love it'! I try not to be judgemental. I try to be a supportive friend. I am not in the business of changing anyone to be like me...well my husband a little maybe.... as for my girlfriends I accept all of them for who they are. My reason for this is selfish. I want all of them to accept me. 

Miss Ghandi had friends to support her choices. On second hand if she were Candi maybe I would take a photo with her. If she likes a bleeding crotch, I love it too?

Sigh...maybe not! I have to think about this one!
WWYD?


Until I blog again,
Tiffany
P.S. Thank goodness this past weekend wasn't that time of the month for Candi!















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