Always Be Authentically YOU!

I was wrecking my brain all week wondering what on earth I was going to blog about today.  

You see, writing doesn't come naturally to me.  So, why start a blog, right?! 

Well, in the beginning I wrote more as if I was writing a page in a journal and maybe I was in a different mental space then. But after gaining some momentum and a bigger audience I steered away from that a bit by wanting to spew information, like how music can heal the world, or what's in your purse, etc. 

I posted this picture earlier in the week on our Facebook page.

Later that day, Mr. Thompson (my husband) sent that very same picture back to me in a whatsapp conversation we were having.

Ouch. I had to make a decision because how can I post things that didn't necessarily reflect how I felt at that time?!
I got off track from being authentically Candi during those times and posting became difficult.

It became difficult because I didn't want to sound negative or ungrateful about my life to others if I posted how I was truly feeling.  So I would hide what I was naturally feeling or what I really wanted to say.

That was not fair. And I wasn't feeling connected to my audience.

It's easy to slip into posting inspirational quotes, messages, posts on how to make life easier, or lists on how to live happy.  I felt I had to keep everyone upbeat on their daily journeys by saying those things even when I wasn't always feeling it myself. 

But that wasn't the reason we started this blog! We created the blog to talk about the hard things!  To be promoters of AUTHENTICITY! And I wasn't holding up my end of the deal. Mind you, Tiffany would always know how I was feeling at that moment but the community we are trying to build didn't. Sure, there are things in our lives that will be kept private, that's understood. But for the most part, I have to stay true to Candi and just be me. I am me.

See there, it says it right on my wrist!!! i am me.

Believe it or not, I am an introvert. That doesn't mean that I don't like to go out, but I prefer it to be with persons closest to me (which are very few). I love to be alone, in my own space and while that is not how my life is set up, I have to steal moments of being by myself. Which is difficult for both myself and family to deal with. Being a wife and mother are two of the most challenging things I've ever had to do. Sometimes, I don't feel I'm very good at either of them and there are other times where I feel like quitting. We all have our bad days. It's hard, and at times it's hard trying to accept the present moments for what they are.  

So there you go.

The lesson...

The best decision you can make for yourself is to simply BE YOU.  You can't embark on things if they do not align with who you are. You cannot speak passionately on topics from an angle other than what you are feeling or what you believe. You cannot live your life worried what others (including your family) will think of you, your thoughts, or your situations. 

You have to have faith that by being who you truly are, you will touch someone somewhere and you will help them with whatever it is they are going through.

That is all anyone can do.

I am me, Candilaria

GUEST BLOG: I’m Jealous of My Wife’s Hair!

Tiffany and I
So I am what’s called a LSD, Light Skinned Brother; hard red; mixed; bright…whatever. With that complexion came mixed hair. It is not 4C but it is not straight nor is it particularly curly.

I have been said to have good hair; something I rebuke not as a HBCU “enlightened brutha” but just as a coloured man who thinks it is not particularly intelligent to say something so dumb. It’s illogical.

However, I still have hair issues. When I was a baby I had big curls; as a young boy a stay soft fro afro and a partial shag that my mother lamented my father for allowing the barber to give me.  Once in high school I was able to pick my own barber and style…I pulled off the ramp, the wedge, I rocked a pretty solid high top fade. Then I started to want more. I wanted the picky look. I wanted to look more thug. Never worked.
I owned a pair of these exact glasses!
By adulthood I became comfortable using basic methods and moisturizer to enhance my most natural look of low curls. I been rocking that for a while now, but there is a problem.

Black women’s hair has never been an issue for me. I appreciate just about any style or texture and don’t have much issue with weave or wigs (once they are done properly). I was on the horsehair-joke committee for a stint and never appreciated the weave that sought to trick me. Nowadays, Remy is so affordable and common it is obvious and acceptable.

My wife Tiffany...flawless!
My wife has spent 11 of the last 12 years with me fussing over her hair. She has worn almost every style I can think of and has come through an incredible journey of self care both of her spirit and her hair to the point that she has returned natural.

Herein lies my problem. I am jealous of my wife’s hair. Her natural hair has released a level of regality that we did not anticipate. She does not cry over her hair anymore. It looks like a crown now. In fact in its natural state it is more and more her crowning glory than it ever has been.

It is thick, 4C to be exact (if you don’t know what 4C means, you ain’ serious). It is strong, curly and koil-y; and it is full of character. Her hair tells her story of strength. She is so proud and walks taller with it. She knows other women are jealous because she rocks that hair with confidence.

Tiffany took this photo this past January on her 42nd Birthday!

I am jealous of my wife’s hair. My hair is thinning. It doesn’t grow the way it used to. These curls trying hard but I think they giving up. So, I grew a beard. I feel like I cannot compete with my wife who is so damn fine.  I am using all the rejected products she has tried. Some work some don’t. I am grooming this beard.

Go girl!

Signed Guest Blogger,
Eric Hall

10 Things Married Working Mothers Never Say!

1.  "Oh you don't want to eat the chicken mummy cooked? No problem baby, I will cook something entirely different just for you."
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2.  "Who me? I don't need a break!"
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3.  "Mom, you don't have to keep the children, I know you're tired."

4.  "No alcohol for me.  I'm good, thanks!" 

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5.  "I really enjoy going to school plays on a Sunday.  I don't need the one day I have to be off."

6.  "Oh please honey, come inside the bathroom while I tinkle and let's have a full conversation of how your day went."

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7.  "I can't wait to get home to fold those two loads of laundry."

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8.  To your boss: "Of course I can stay late to help you finish this project."

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9. "I absolutely love waking up at 5:00am every morning! It really gets me going."

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10. "Sweetie, how come you don't have any homework tonight? Darnnit, I was really looking forward to doing long division with you!"

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What are some of the things you never say? :)

Hope this puts a smile on your face.  Enjoy the weekend ladies!

"It's after 5pm already? I need another hour!"

Blink and Turn Away!

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Are you offended by this photo? Do you see anything wrong with this pic? Could anyone snap a similar photo of you?

Let's look at it. This is a photo of Jennifer Anniston. She appears to be on her way to Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato. Maybe it's the weekend, a day to exhale. (Insert exhale sound here)

Okay, okay, okay! Fine! Anniston is not wearing a bra. 

Let me tell you a quick story.

For those of you who do not know and those of you who do I, forty-two year old Tiffany Yvette, I run 4.3 miles every Sunday morning with THE (Say the word THE like the football players who introduce themselves at the beginning of a televised game to announce their alma mater, i.e., THE Ohio State) I digress sorry, it's been a long day. Let me continue, I Tiffany Yvette, I run 4.3 miles every Sunday Morning with THE MWM Running Group. In order to consistently show up and do what I do, which is run as slow as a tortoise, hey slow and steady wins the race, I prepare the night before. How you may wonder? My routine is simple. I sleep in my running clothes. Yes ma'am I do. Every last item including my socks because I sleep in socks every night. (Let me be me!) This proactivity allows me to show up!

With this being said Saturday night I put on my bra topsssssssssssssssssssssss!
Why all the s's Tiffany? Because folks the girls are double d's. They are healthy dense girls that spread the love even under my arm.... what is that? Why do they have to grow from under there????? Help me to understand?

Anywho, I wear a bra and two sport bra tops. I confess I need a proper Sports Bra but I live in The Bahamas. Our local stores do not sell a variety of bras but yet have the nerve to charge a breast implant price for the slim stock they carry. Sweetness, if I am going to pay for a sports bra I want a good quality. And so-whoa, I go with what I've got!

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Moral of the story, I slept with three bleepity- bleep bra tops Saturday night. My body was not happy when I took them off Sunday morning at 9:00am. I'm talking grooves on my skin, pain ladies and gentlemen because men I know you are reading too. I was in so much pain when I put on my bra for church at 9:45am my skin felt chafe. (Chafe means raw, bruised an overall get off of me kind of feeling)!

So peeps, I came home from church and the bra came off. Off I say!

Can I just say I was in the best mood ever...well not really but I was relaxed. I let the girls breathe! Hallelujah!!!!

I confess I do not do this often. My grandmother told me I should sleep in a bra to keep them perky. Gravity is a serious thing. And so on this day I disobeyed my grandmother and they hung and boy can they hang....hang with the best of them, I'm talking hanging on the blocks under a tree with a cold one...beverage that is!

This leads me back to Jennifer Anniston and all of you who can go to Starbucks like she did. Sigh.... I can't. Not because I care what people say because TRUST and BELIEVE I don't. I am so hot you have to call the fireman and the police... I am just that hot. (Insert Bruno Mars Uptown Funk song here).  I don't because I don't think my DD's can pull Anniston's look off! My girls are too big!

Now if I can get them lifted like this photo below, I'd grab me a tank top like Anniston, throw it on my frame and I'd be everywhere on the weekend. You don't like my nips poking out, blink and turn away! BLINK AND TURN AWAY! 
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Why do we wear bras anyway? I briefly searched on the world wide webs for an answer but nothing. No information which explained the day someone said cover and pull those things up. Was it a man? Doubtful! It was a judgemental, jealous woman that caused all of this I am sure. Men. Puhlease!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What I do know is women well most of us don't like bras. We wear them out but as soon as we can we take them off!

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I remember seeing my mother doing this trick...I really thought it was a trick!
Ladies my point is only this. I am so over wearing bras! I decided I hate them. I have three new outfits in my closet right now which I haven't worn because I couldn't figure out how I would contain my breasts. Forget it! I'm done! I will be wearing those outfits braless! As I typed earlier, if you see me whenever I wear one of them, Blink and Turn Away!

Do they bury women in bras? Seriously? Please let my girls go in peace..... sorry I digress.

If you love wearing bras awesome but I implore you to give our girls freedom. If you get home one evening feeling irritated with the kids, your husband or the state of your home, check your body.... you may need to take off your bra to exhale!

Candi, my MWM Co-founder, shared how she forgot to put on a bra and went to the grocery store. She got mixed reviews but she didn't care. This link below describes what you may experience if you forget!

As for me, I am 42 years old and the day is growing nigh,
It will be a day when I won't be shy.
I will go braless
And be fearless!!!!!!!!!!

Until I go braless again,


Over a year ago, March 4, 2014 to be exact, I read what was quite possible the single most transformative and life-changing blogs I have ever read.