We think we are fully aware when interacting with our children but it only takes one action or something said or too many times fussing at them to have one of those mini breakdowns or straight trip out moments. I constantly ask myself, how do I change this? How can I become fully conscious?
How many of you watch OWN's (Oprah's television station) television show, Super Soul Sunday?
I am absolutely in love with this show! I love it so much I can just imagine my Sundays sitting in front of my television in my living room, all snuggled up with a blanket and a hot cup of tea (constantly refilling itself, of course) watching back to back episodes of Super Soul Sunday.
There is so much inspiration in a one hour show, it fills my heart and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy all over.
I was home sick one week and turned it to Super Soul Sunday and watched the thought provoking and incredibly motivating episode with Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of "The Conscious Parent: Transforming ourselves, empowering our children."
In this book "Dr. Tsabary shifts the epicentre of the parent-child relationship away from the traditional parent-to-child "know it all" approach to a mutual parent-with-child relationship in which the parent learns alongside the child. This innovative parenting style recognizes the child's potential to spark a deep soul-searching, leading to transformation in parents. Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents' psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parents' development."
Watching the episode could not have come at a better time. I bought the book and while I have only just begun reading it I am already completely enamored by its content. With a unique take on parenting it seems like common sense!
What is it to be a conscious parent? To be conscious means to engage in an active process of conscious evolvement. This, by definition, means resisting an over-attachment to the ‘doing’ aspects of life and shifting your energies to engage in the ‘being’ aspects of life. The state of consciousness teaches oneness.
I wanted to share with you an excerpt from the book, in Chapter 3 called "Release Your Children From The Need of Your Approval"
This particular chapter was eye-opening.
"When we are unable to accept our children, it's because they open up old wounds in us, threatening some ego-attachment we are still holding onto."
Wow. Acceptance in this instance means accepting your child for who he/she truly is. Not who you think they are or who you want them to be. To be attuned to your child's uniqueness.
That statement was profound for me because it lent itself to the confirmation that our children ultimately contribute to our overall growth, our self-discovery, and self-development. "Parenting allows one of the most powerful opportunities for us to do this, because our children are able to mirror our soul in a way few others can. They reflect back our light and our shadow in a manner that is incomparable." says Dr. Tsabary.
Children play an integral role in the spiritual awakening of the parent.
"Our ability to accept our children is directly linked to our ability to accept ourselves - both as we are presently, and for what we have the potential to become."
"How can we raise another human being, another spirit, if our own being has been largely dismissed, our spirit systematically squelched?"
Dr. Tsabary goes on to share some areas in which she is learning to accept herself:
I accept I am a human being before I am a parent
I accept I have limitations and many shortcomings, and this is okay
I accept I don't always know the right way
I accept I am often ashamed to admit my own failings
I accept I frequently lose my center worse than my child ever does
I accept I can be selfish and unthinking in my dealings with my child
I accept I sometimes fumble and stumble as a parent
I accept I don't always know how to respond to my child
I accept that at times I say and do the wrong thing with my child
I accept that at times I'm too tired to be sane
I accept that at times I'm too preoccupied to be present for my child
I accept I am trying my best, and that is good enough
I accept my imperfections and my imperfect life
I accept my desire for power and control
I accept my ego
I accept my yearning for consciousness (even though I often sabotage myself when I am about to enter this state)
I recommend this book for you to read. While not everyone will be open to this non-traditional way of parenting, and that's okay too, I hope this helps some of you who are wanting a different way of connecting with your child(ren).
Are you a conscious parent? Do you want to be a conscious parent?
I will leave you with a little clip from the Super Soul Sunday episode on the OWN network.
Becoming a Conscious Parent, Candilaria