Last week was Halloween, Channing dressed up as Doc McStuffins. This was the perfect costume as she already owned a Doc McStuffins dress up set. The set included everything except the purple and pink polka dot leggings. As far as my husband was concerned, who cares about the missing leggings, just "Wear something else!" Wap!

Yeah right!

In the words of Doc McStuffins, "I have a diagnosis! Tiffany, you suffer from Things-have-to-be-a-certain-way-itis!"

I do! It was imperative for Channing to have a complete costume. I did not listen to Eric. Instead I ordered a brand new costume from Amazon just so Channing could have her leggings.

Let's do some math.

The cost of the new costume was $23.00. The cost to ship to The Bahamas and pay duty was $24.00. In total the second costume was almost $50.00. 


Doc McStuffins, Stuffy, her sidekick dragon and Doc's mom!

Did I mention Channing already had a costume just minus the purple and pink leggings? Okay fine, she looked just like Doc but this leads me to the purpose of this post. 

Why can I find the money to spend on my children but not for myself?

courtesy of
At this present moment I want an
I-Phone, a gold I-Phone. I am forty years old. I work hard every day. I am a good person. I am a good mother and even better wife. I pay the bills on time and save when I can. I deserve a treat. I don't even own an I-Pad! My husband will tell you I rarely ask for material things. Materialistic is not a word to describe me. I am a woman who shops at Ross, wears the same exercise clothes from the last ten almost fifteen years and  washes, treats and perms my own hair. For all that I do and wisely do not do, I should have no worries about buying myself a new phone.


I can list ten reasons right now why I won't buy me a phone. Amazingly, I did not have a ten reason list why I should not buy a new Doc McStuffins costume. That thought never went through my mind. She had to have the purple and pink leggings. No ifs ands or buts! I should be able to say, I have to have a new I-Phone!  No ifs ands or buts!

Now don't get me wrong. I can tell Channing "No" very easily. She does not get everything she asks for. There are times I have money when she wants ice-cream and I will tell her no she has to wait for another day.

I refuse to give her everything she wants. However, she must have everything I want her to have!

Once I deem she needs a purple headband to match her purple shoes....I will find the money! Once I deem she needs a certain type of fork and spoon to match her thermos, backpack and pencil case....I will find the money. Once I deem she needs every color of a shoe I've found on The Gap Website...I will find the money!

So why can't I deem I need an I-Phone and find the money?

It's because I am a mother. Mothers want the best for their children and will sacrifice until we get the best! We also have the annoying capability to deny ourselves of our needs and most definitely our wants.... unless you have disposable income!

I don't! 

My mother gave the best of herself to me. I realize now that you probably wanted to take a weekend trip and go to a Teddy Pendergrass concert but my ballet and school tuition were due so like the great mother you were, you stayed at home and listened to his records! 

Thank you for the sacrifice Mummy.

I live to raise my daughter as my mother raised me, to sacrifice for her betterment but jeez...I really want an I-Phone!

courtesy of student photographer Kyla King

Until I blog again,


Eric Hall said...

For those of you that missed it, this was actually a letter to #Santa. Looks like he is #givingupbooze and #COFFEE the rest of the year! Great post. #sotrue Adorable picture. Your hair looks amazing!

MWMs said...

Hello Eric,

Thank you for supporting Married Working Mothers.

Thank you for being my Santa I mean for delivering the message to Santa about my I-Phone. I really have been a good girl and deserve one!
Love you nags,

MWMs said...

Ain't this post THE TRUTH! Why do you think we do ourselves so bad?! It's because we are great mothers and we would rather sacrifice buying ourselves something for something for our children. I don't even wanna buy Victoria Secret bras, I tell myself let me go find something a tad bit cheaper! lawd! You want an iPhone....can I just get like 8 new VS bras? Where do I start the petition for that at? LOLOL...
Great post babes!

Anonymous said...

Great post! My favorite part was "I refuse to give her everything she wants. However, she must have everything I want her to have!"

LOL...So true whenever I tell my husband I have no money and there is something I want my kids to have i find a way to make it happen.. it's so common place now I think he tunes me out.. good luck on the gold IPHONE

Sandena Neely said...

Well Tiff, i cant help ya there babes because the cost of them there iPhones are non-negotiable & I'm sure I'd feel like a common criminal if I spent that kind of money on a phone. Do I think I should feel this way? NO. But I also know that harvest/Thanksgiving & Christmas are coming and i have already made a neat list of the clothes, shoes, jeans, slippers, socks, stockings, hair pieces & vests that these 2 little people who live in our house will need. And i have already had the conversation with myself that I simply do not need new shoes or new dresses or any of the other secret indulgences that I want (why does it have to be a secret? Why do i feel the need to have to justify my purchases?). You are more than right Tiff, we find the money for these things yet we need to pass an Act of Congress in order to buy something for ourselves. We need to figure this out. Whether we dedicate 10% of each purchase of an item for our kids to a fund for our own purchases or bargain/budget to spend a specific dollar amount on ourselves each month - we need to do something. Because we want to. And that is all. (Smiles while thinking about what i just said & wondering if it can work)

MWMs said...


Let's create two sponsor sheets, one for my phone and one for your bras. We can stand outside the banks or grocery store like the basketball players. We have to at least get a dollar two.


MWMs said...

Hello Anonymous,
Thank you for supporting Married Working Mothers.

I think my husband knows too that I am on a mission. Whatever it is that I want the kids to have will magically appear in our home. Oh well!

Chile, I am going to follow Santa on Twitter and like his Facebook page. He has to get to know my name to see that I am a good girl! Good girls get I-Phones!


MWMs said...


As always, thank you for supporting Married Working Mothers.

A friend of mine always budgeted $50.00 for herself once a month. Whether it be a new lipstick, a bottle of wine, a night at the movies she set that aside for her.

Can I have someone to physically come and take the money from me? This is a great plan but somehow B.E.C., Commonwealth Bank, Channing and Chase Inc. seem to take my little $50.00.

We need a mom asue or something!

As you wrote in your post many moons ago, we are instructed to put the oxygen mask on our face first then put the mask on the crumbsnatchers!

When it comes to money we do the exact opposite!

Dis gotta change!!!!!!!!!!

MWMs said...

She said "crumbsnatchers"!!! LOL

Sandena Neely said...

My one indulgence for the past 5 years has been to get my precious nails done every 3 weeks (it really should be every 2 weeks but hey!). So anyway, I have managed to keep that up for 5 years and counting, only missing appointments like when I had to give birth etc (lol).

I am committed to adorning that mask in a much more meaningful way for the rest of 2013 and into a brand new 2014 - so let's plan, let's organize - in the spirit of Barack Hussein Obama, YES WE CAN!

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