I LIKE MY BRA THE WAY IT IS, UNBURNED!

It's Monday, I'm at work... 

and I'm in a funk....

Why you ask?  Read the first line again...LOL

Long gone are the days of very clear cut roles of men and women, more specifically husbands/wives and fathers/mothers.  The lines have become so blurred we really can't say if a task should fall under the role of the husband/wife or father/mother.  

Society is so far removed from the times when we had clear "boundaries" that matters between men and women become difficult. 

Once again, Tiffany and I would love to thank all the women who burned their bras for Woman's Rights...blank stare...we really showed the men how independent we could be! But for real, it's time to stop. LOL. This "going to work" is for the birds! 

Let me be a stay-at-home mother any day, with a housekeeper AND babysitter of course. LOL...I'm just joking...I'm just serious.

Look, have you ever been frustrated when your hubby always has something going on?  They always seem to have this meeting, that meeting, toastmasters, football practice, "oh a friend needs help with this" or "oh, I have to go take care of that".  The thing is YOU have the same kind of things going on too but the difference is, your stuff is ON TOP of managing the children and their activities! 

Do men still feel they ought to just be the providers and that's it?  Can we accept this mentality in today's society? Nope. We cannot.  

Not in a society where women have become financial contributors to the home, no?

How involved do you think husbands/fathers should be in the day-to-day operations of the home? How committed should women be to their jobs/careers? Or does this depend on the dynamics of the family?

Do you think men could handle a full day of work, running errands and other activities while managing the kids all by themselves AND be okay with that? What about multiple days?! Or indefinitely?!  Keep in mind, they are not stay-at-home dads!  My guess is, no! So here lies the problem.  We end up doing pretty much everything. LOL.

I know there are husbands out there that do just as much or, in a few rare cases, more than the wife. I know a few scenarios like the latter. A few. **Side Thought**It's funny though - people are more inclined to give praise to men for taking on the role of caretaker/homemaker while his wife who is the breadwinner and taking care of their family financially will not receive that same kind of praise. Hmmmm...that's deep.  Is it because it's not the "natural way"? 

So ladies, it seems as though burning our bras for equality may have caused us a little more work and a lot more headache!  On top of what we already were, Wives and Mothers, we've added Work. YAY!  Though I feel it is important and necessary for us to have the choice to work, it really isn't a choice anymore, but a necessity.  

So here we are Married, Mothers and Working!

What are the roles in your home? Is there total integration?  Or do you have a clear division? 

Husbands, I know you're reading....we would love for you to chime in on this discussion.  And of course Married WORKING Mothers feel free to express yourselves, bras were burnt so you could! LOL


HAPPY MONDAY! :)


Signed, 
I like my bra the way it is, unburned
Candilaria

YOU ARE THE REASON WE DON'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

TV stand, I don't even know what they used on this!

How many of you have strolled up and down and all around through the aisles of Kelly's, Bahamas Design Centre, or Commonwealth Building Supplies, or any other home decor store and saw that beautiful vase and envisioned it sitting in that spot in your house you've been trying to fill? Or a unique lamp that would be perfect for the end table in your living room?  Maybe it's an antique mirror to hang on your entryway wall.  A new couch? A new TV console?

I think we all would like to create warm, comfortable, calming yet beautiful spaces in our homes.  After all it is the place you go to after a hectic day of work.  When you enter your home don't you want to walk into a peaceful home that provides tranquility?

Well not in a house with children!

Well first, I walk into noise but that's a different story!  But when I get home I always see yet another work of art done by one of my kiddies (lately my 3 year old has been the culprit).  No no...not artwork on a piece of paper.  No, that would be too easy. I stand there looking with my famous blank stare at my child then his work of art (on the wall) then back to my child (who by the way has THE biggest smile on this face) and back to the art again.  YOU ARE WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!  LOL.  Yeah, I said it (not to him but I said it in my mind!).  And I know you think it!  First of all, little boy how did you get that high?  Was your sister your accomplice? Did she kneel down on all fours while you stepped onto her back?  I mean!?... 

We've stopped painting the walls because they will only be filled with pencil and crayola markings. I've stopped dreaming of a brand new couch because it will only become another place for spilled juice and cheese.  I've stopped thinking about replacing my dining room table because it has now become their canvas.  And let's not get started on the carpets!  I am completely embarrassed about them!  Listen, one of the curtain rods in my bedroom is is falling down because it has been ripped out from the wall from two little people swinging from the curtains like little monkeys.  I guess the fan was too high for them to reach??  Although my baby boy can do a bounce so high in our bed that sometimes I feel his aim is to one day really hang from the fan (*blank stare*).

                         
                                   

                                      From l-r; craft table, dining room table

Hey, at least they wrote their last name!

So, I will delay purchasing the really nice things until my kids are older. I know that may sound crazy.  Like, oh why don't you just teach your children how to take care of things. I want a white couch, that's definitely out of the question and wellllll....every child is different. I never once had to worry about my daughter picking up a pencil or a marker to write on the walls. It's something she never did!  And no matter how many times I tell my son not to write on the walls, he will somehow sneak a brush stroke over something somewhere. It's a working process...LOL...maybe he is destined to be an artist!

Someone felt like chipping the paint off the door! Maybe to repaint it??

How do you keep your house from looking like a total disaster? What cleaning secrets do you have? Doesn't it seem like an endless fight with the children? How do you preserve your nice things? :)

Signed, 

Courtesy of Delicate Dandelion

, Candilaria

YOUR BIRTH CONTROL HAS BEEN RECALLED

SORRY MRS. THOMPSON BUT YOUR BIRTH CONTROL HAS BEEN RECALLED..."Say what?! Can you please repeat that statement for me M'am." I said with my eyes closed and hand on my beating ever so quickly heart. I then asked her "when did this happen?! and why?!"...The end of May the pharmacist said.  In horror I said "END OF MAY! But Miss, it's the middle of July!"....and then she proceeded with "it was recalled due to it's ineffectiveness"....my legs went to jelly and eyes went blurry. I just about fainted.  

courtesy of guardian.co.uk

No, I'm not pregnant.  Thank you, Lord!  But I could have been! Here it is I am putting all my faith, my life into this pill and they are going to tell me it was ineffective! Like my folks would say "well, by George!" (please don't ask me what that means...LOL...and I wish you could hear me say it rather than read it) How long has it been this way? This shop is closed, didn't you know?! But let me tell you...if I had been, Johnson & Johnson, the makers of my now ex contraceptive called Cilest, would have been in big trouble.  If I had been, you better believe I would have been singing to them ..."18 years, 18 years, She gat one of yo' kids, gat you for 18 years!". 

Don't ask me why I wasn't aware of the recall, but why did the pharmacy give it to me in June when it was recalled in May? Hmmmm....I have to look further into that. Noted.

If any of you are on this particular pill, and you didn't know....now you do!

And of course, this brought on a set of new issues.  

Issue 1: When I told my husband, the first thing he uttered was "so what does that mean? I have to wait a month?"...bahahahaha...gatta love these men.  "Hold on...did you not hear what I said?  Are you not the least bit concerned that our lives could have been baby jacked again?!" 

Issue one prompted issue two

Issue 2:  I now have to find a new contraceptive as soon as possible. However I was informed that my doctor is off island on vacation.  Sighhhhhh....So we wait until he returns.  In the meantime, any suggestions from my fellow MWMs?

What's a girl to do?!....(in the background, I can feel the blank stare from my husband...jokes)

Hey, and please forgive me if this is too much information but I figured if I didn't know it was recalled someone else out there must not know either. Unless I am completely on my own about this, and if so, please discard this post...LOL...but hopefully you got a kick out of my story :)  


Signed, 
No more baby for me, Candilaria

GUEST BLOG: MAKEUP ON THE GO

Working mothers and ladies of all ages know that working a 9-5 can be stressful, and surprisingly I find after sitting at a desk all day, you can look a little run down heading to happy hour. Therefore I have decided to put together a basic beauty emergency kit at my cubicle to freshen up my daytime look and quickly transform for a night on the town.

Here are 5 easy steps...

1. Pressed Powder Compact

This is great with a sponge or powder brush for those of us who can get a bit oily around the t-zone area during the day. Just touch up and dab problem areas to give yourself a fresh face.

2. Highlighter

This is great for when you want to look awake, I place this on the high points of my cheekbones, down my nose & at the top of my cupids bow (upper lip) to give my face a little dimension and summery glow.

3. Eye Drops

Nothing can make your eyes look more bloodshot than staring at the computer monitor all day. I put a drop of this in each eye, and redness fades and I look a little more like I have had a full nights rest instead of like a zombie.

4. Mascara + Lash Curler

Lifting your lashes with a lash curler can make a huge difference! Add mascara for more volume and length. 

5. Bold Lipstick

A bold lip color, such as red, berry or a vampy dark purple, can make your look seem very put together and appears like you put a lot more effort than you actually did. 

Today's guest blog was written by Amelia aka Amelia J of AJ Designs. This dynamic lady is a talented graphic artist and an ambitious entrepreneur. Learn more about her by clicking on the following links:

FACEBOOK:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/AJ-Designs/157688754278517

INSTAGRAM

http://instagram.com/ameliaaj

BLOG

http://ameliaja.blogspot.com/





Signed, 
Amelia J

BeYOUtiful......AN EVENING AT JOHN BULL...

Hey there fellow Married Working Mothers!

We will be heading to John Bull in the SouthWest Plaza on Charmichael Road for their Summer Style Parties event on Friday, July 19th, 2013 from 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. It will be lots of fun! 

Enjoy special in-store offers, summer cocktails, prizes, surprises and so much more! Attend the events for a chance to win a John Bull Luxury Gift Card valued at $1250! 'Color your world with style...'  

Hope to see you all there!

Signed, 

MWMs Management

MOTHERHOOD: Lessons For My Son

Not Guilty!

courtesy of news.yahoo.com

This was the verdict read this past weekend in the Trayvon Martin Case.

As a mother I must look at this case and its verdict for lessons. I am a mother of a black male. In the not too distant future, he will be spending summers with his grandmother, uncle and cousins in America. What should I teach Chase to prepare him for these visits?

Because ... there are lessons to be learned from every situation, in this case tragedy.

And so  today I choose not to get caught up in the discussions of race relations in America, or how another black male is dead. I don't want to ponder why Zimmerman choose to fire a gun rather than throw a punch or where he will go into hiding. Instead, today I focus on the things I have control over. I focus on what I can influence. 

I can influence my son, Chase.

This morning I watched The View, Sherri Shepherd one of the co-hosts said as a mother she is teaching her son lessons. The lessons were as follows;

1. If it is cold outside, wear a hat or hoodie to keep yourself warm.

2. If a strange man is following you, more than likely it is to instill harm and it 

    is not for your welfare.

3. If someone is attacking you, do all you can to protect yourself.

She ended by saying these lessons, good and sound lessons could get you killed! What should she tell her son now? 

This is what got me thinking. What do I tell Chase when he is walking back to his uncle's house from the community pool at The Recreation Center? Because one day Chase could in fact be doing just that, walking from the pool with a towel slung over his head and a neighbour in my brother's community sees him and begins pursuit. 

What do I want Chase to do?

I thought and thought and thought. Here is all I could muster.

What To Do When In Danger

1. Run Away

2. Scream

3. Seek Help

LESSON ONE: Run Away

If you see danger run. Run away from the situation, whether at a party, you are alone, if someone is following you, there is a fire, if you see everyone else running ....RUN AWAY! 

Don't engage or respond to a confrontation with a stranger by no means. 

We live in a world where we never know who has a concealed weapon. We never know if a response to someone having a bad day could result in an injury.  

LESSON TWO: Scream

Scream as if your life depends on it! While running away, scream "HELP ME! HELP! THIS MAN IS CHASING ME! HELP ME! HELP!"

When there is danger scream. Why? I can only pray that there is someone who will be alerted. I have to pray if my son where running down a street running and screaming he will get someone's attention who will be in a position to offer help; even if that help is only call 911!

LESSON THREE: Seek Help

In school, as a teacher I always tell students, if someone wrongs you it is your responsibility to tell the teacher. Find a teacher. As an adult, if someone wrongs me my responsibility as a law abiding citizen is to tell the police.

If Chase is walking home to his uncle's house and danger is on his heels, my lesson is to call 911. I am sure he will have a cell phone. All teenagers do. Call 911! This is the first way I want Chase to seek help.

The second way I want Chase to seek help is to run to a house in search of an adult who can help. Ring a doorbell. Once again, as a mother I have to pray Chase rings the doorbell of someone who will see my son in distress and protect them, provide shelter to the best of their ability.

As I write this I realize, these aren't just lessons for my son but for my daughter as well. These are lessons for children growing up in this adult world.

I cannot change the reality of racial profiling, hell, I profile all the time. If I see someone suspicious I immediately check my surroundings; so profiling will always exist. That is out of my circle of influence. The judicial system, laws, jury selections are also out of my circle of influence. 

I only have my words to my children. 

At the age of 40 I know this to be true. I STILL REMEMBER THE LESSONS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME AS A CHILD! Did I listen to her all the time... no, but I know them. I hear her voice. 

Today I pray Chase and Channing will hear my voice!
I pray your children will hear your voice too.

Until I blog again,

Tiffany

HAPPY 40TH INDEPENDENCE MY BAHAMALAND!

We would like to wish all of our fellow Bahamians, on island and those living abroad a 

Happy 40th Independence!

One minute after midnight On July 10th, 1973, 40 years ago a crowd of 50,000+ witnessed the black, aqua-marine, and gold flag of The Bahamas being raised instead of the Union Jack.  What a feeling that must have been! It was the end of over 300 years of British rule.

Below is a picture of the brave men that have governed The Bahamas for the past 40 years.

From left to right: The Right Honorable Perry G. Christie, the current Prime Minister of The Commonwealth of The Bahamas, The Right Honorable Sir Lynden O. Pindling, Former Prime Minister (1967-1992), and The Right Honorable Hubert A. Ingraham, Former Prime Minister (1992-2002, 2007-2012)

Last evening Bahamians came together on the eve of our Independence on the historic grounds of Clifford Park (where the initial ceremony of Independence occurred) for an event to recognize 40 years of Independence.  As apart of the celebrations we enjoyed an event called the Tattoo.

At the Tattoo, the gentleman in the front is the Governor General, Sir Arthur Foulkes, courtesy of bahamasweekly.com

For those of you like me who have been wondering why it is called a Tattoo, here is the popular definition!

The term military tattoo, referring to a military drum performance, dates from the seventeenth century when the British Army were fighting in the Low Countries (Belgium and The Netherlands). Drummers from the garrison were sent out into the towns at 21:30 hrs (9:30PM) each evening to inform the soldiers that it was time to return to barracks. The process was known as Doe den tap toe and encouraged the inn keepers to "turn off the taps", stop serving beer and send the soldiers home for the night. The drummers continued to play until the curfew at 22:00 hrs (10:00PM).

Over the years, the process became more of a show and often included the playing of the first post at 21:30 hrs and the last post at 22:00. Bands and displays were included and shows were often conducted by floodlight or searchlight. Tattoos were commonplace in the late 1800s with most military and garrison towns putting on some kind of show, hence the name Tattoo came for the show.

Now we know!

The journey still continues to becoming a great nation!

Signed, 
MWMs Management

YAY 40 PART TWO!

courtesy of homesofozark.com

On my previous post I had to end writing quite abruptly because my twenty month old son was on my lap whining with pain from teething.

Ouch!


I was in the process of sharing what I believe to be true at the age of forty in response to The Bahamas celebrating 40 Years of Independence.

Let's continue....




What I Know To Be True At 40!

21. The older I get the more I love make-up. Hello Concealer!
22. I no longer jump out of bed. It is a slow deliberate process.
23. I wish I heard more stories from my grandmother about my history.
24. Fingernail polish or the perfect lipstick can make you feel glamorous.
25. The saying, 'This too shall pass' is true. 
26. A glass of wine can save your marriage!
27. Learn to work hard and play hard.
28. Children really do grow up quickly. I am my mother's baby and I am 40!
29. Many of us aren't as intelligent as we would like to think we are.
30. Clean the kitchen before you go to bed. Waking up to a 
      dirty kitchen sucks.
31. Our children are watching our every move.
32. Authenticity is my most important character trait.
33. Healing can come through confrontation.
34. As Maya Angelou said, 'When people show you who they are, believe 
     them the first time'
35. Forget love, you have to like the person you marry.
36. Writing in my journal is therapeutic.
37. God did not want everyone to have flat abs! If so, where are mine?
38. Having a dream for your life is easy, achieving it... not so much.
39. Hurt people hurt people.
40. I got to know Tiffany and I love her!

Until I blog again,
Tiffany

Yay 40!

courtesy of takimag.com

"We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but we know it and admit it." Jules Renard

For all of my Anglican Church Members out there, today in our bulletin there was an Independence Message from Bishop Boyd. He wrote,

'This month The Bahamas celebrates her 40th Anniversary of Independence. It is a milestone and a coming of age. For human beings 40 is the age of adult maturity, although it does not mean that the person stops growing and maturing; the process continues throughout the whole of life. We can say The Bahamas has reached one stage of her maturity , but has much more growing and maturity to do; it is a process for the rest of time.'

The Bahamas has reached one stage of her maturity, but has much more growing and maturity to do... 

This applies to Tiffany too!

I turned forty in January. I am proud to be forty. I am honored to tell my age. It is an accomplishment, but as Bishop Boyd wrote, there is much more growing to do!

But today, let me share what I know to be true for me at forty.

What I Know To Be True At 40!

1. My eyes will soon need some assistance.

2. 'Give us this day our daily bread', is true. God gives me what I need for each 

    day and not anything I need for tomorrow. 

3. Dark circles under eyes are real!

4. You should have children when you are young. They require energy.

5. You should have children when you are older. You need courage to parent

    and wisdom to sacrifice for your children.

6. If I want to go out on a Friday night I need to hydrate so I am not

    exhausted the entire next day.

7. Once you break a twenty, fifty or hundred dollar bill...consider that money 

    spent.

8. We train people how to treat us!

9. There are good guys out there to be your best friend, father to your children

    and your husband.

10. My mother was right, "Don't get married before you are 30 years of age or

     atleast 28."

11. I didn't begin to know who I was until I was in my thirties.

12. My failed relationships prepared me for my one successful relationship.

13. BREASTS do not defy gravity!

14. Children interrupt marriage. That's why God made them cute.

15. My  mother was right, "There is a consequence for every choice!"

16. People do what they can get away with.

17. The career choice I made in my teens does not suit the woman I am at

     forty.

18. My circle of friends is small and that is okay.

19. If you take care of your hair it will grow.

20. I can only be who I am!

And so, as The Bahamas, I have 'much more growing and maturity to do; it is a process for the rest of time.'

My son is teething gotta go...

Until I blog again,

Tiffany

HAPPY WEEKEND!

Have a great weekend, MWMs!

GUEST BLOG: WHEN BROKE MEETS BABY

As a single twenty something recent graduate, I was committed to spending money; whether the cash was spent on buying new extensions, shoes, attending the latest events or traveling; budgeting was out of sight and definitely out of mind; along with the idea of paying off my school debt.  

When I became pregnant, the things that I considered luxuries were replaced by new things. Nothing tests your desire to spend like having a child, because now everything is a must have. My daughter must have six different diaper bags, cute pink sun shades, a Dora blow up toy, 25 sing-a- long cds (she is two and have only listened to one), and God forbid, I would never let my kid wear hand me downs, are you kidding me?

As Adaya got older, I realized how my luxury spending now became necessities; “I have to buy her fast food everyday because I am too tired to cook a meal” $$ can you hear the money adding up? Well I heard it but definitely ignored for quite awhile until broke met baby! 

There are plenty reasons why people make the decision to live a more frugal life, my reason was not a choice and believe me it surely was not welcomed.  The first frugal living decision I had to make was hard but I had to be able to identify wants and needs.  Only spend on what matters.

Today, I consider myself to be fairly frugal and to be honest, I think I take it too far and cross into the realm of cheap! For example, I have a pair of black shoes that I got about three months ago that were $35.00 and they are busted! I know they are busted, I can see it, people comment on it every day, yet I won’t invest in a new pair; mainly because it’s a shoe and in my mind it really doesn’t matter!  Now, I am not suggesting that you live a pauper life like this, however I would suggest as a mother, father or family with kids (especially the younger ones) it is important to take on a more frugal lifestyle.

Frugal Living is not suppressive! In fact it is the complete opposite. Here are a few ways that you can live a more frugal life:

·         Track Your Spending and I mean everything. See where you can cut back and find ways to eliminate unnecessary spending

·         Attack Your Debt easier said than done right? Nope. Take it from me, it’s much more rewarding to pay off your car loan than to have $800.00 in your bank account and have bill collectors calling.

·         Buy in Bulk. My parents together have six kids, so it was necessary that they purchase things in bulk. From toilet tissue to snacks and even kool-aid, every couple months, we would get a shipment. Learning from my mom, I found the saving sense in bulk buying. Not only are you saving lots of money, but you also eliminate the hassle of going to the food store every week! For you new moms, I am sure you understand the importance of this.

·         Think about Why You Buy. Every parent wants the best for their child. But are what we considering “the best” really necessary?  When I had to return to work from maternity leave, in selecting a school for Adaya I wanted the best. In my mind, the best meant more money. That being said we opted for a nursery that was said to be “one of the best” on the island, four days into nursery, $745.00 spent (uniform, registration, seat fee, and a month of care)  Adaya got really sick and had a diaper rash that was so bad she lost skin! So much for “the best”. Needless to say, I have learnt my lesson. Big bucks don’t always mean the best.

Frugal living means spending considerably less than what you earn, which equates to unlimited opportunity for saving, creating memories and following your dreams. My tip to all parents and families, spend when needed and enjoy the best that life has to offer; most of which are free!

Written By

Ms. Worrell

Ms. Worell is a freelance Public Relations & Creative Guru,  blogger, and JazzyMOM. Born and bred in Nassau, Bahamas, studied International Business and Marketing at Saint Leo University,Tampa Florida and is now completing her MBA. She has one little princess buttercup that has made her life complex, entertaining and most of all AMAZING! She loves makeup, fashion, hair (particularly extensions), blogging,and all things girlie! 

Visit her blog at: http://annisbuble.blogspot.com

Twitter Handle: @annisbubble
Instagram: annisbubble

I AM A BAHAMIAN

courtesy of 

As we countdown the days to our Independence, I reflect on all things Bahamian.  What does The Bahamas mean to me? What makes us who we are?  

For me, it's the people.  

www.takegreatpictures.com 

I love how colourful we are.  By colourful, I mean our personalities, the way we talk, the way we walk, the way we dress, and just the way we interact with each other.  You will always hear a Bahamian say they can spot another Bahamian no matter where they are in the world.  We laugh and make jokes about how true that is!  Some days driving around town, the sights and people  you stumble upon make you either laugh or shake your head and say to yourself, "only in The Bahamas".












Here is my list of a few things of when you know "you is a" Bahamian:

A potcake, stray dog

1.  When fire engine is something you eat (corned beef and rice!)

2.  When "potcake" is a stray dog, burnt rice at the bottom of the pot, or a person mixed with different ethnicity's.  Oh and we can't forget the Potcake, the man with the shopping cart filled with car rims

3.  When 5 dogs laying in your yard and none of them are yours 

4.  Gives directions like this "You know the blue and white building on the   corner with the laundry mat and liquor store? Yea, Ok.  Don't turn through that corner, my house through da next corner" (hehe)

Make shift store, this time in the centre of a median

5.  When you put up a make-shift store on the side of the road selling the same merchandise for half the price than the big time (legitimate) store across the streets.

6.  When you trying to find the best "asue" to join

7.  When you can be heard saying "well muddasick" (an expression used to emphasize every kind of emotion)

8.  When you start or end a sentence with the word "Bey"

9.  When you say you "gern unda da dock".  No, not under the bridge...unda da dock!

10. When you going "unda da dock" for one conch snack and one cold Kalik

11. When you switch your accent to an American one when speaking to a tourist

12. You come back from Miami with three big suitcases (full) and claim you only spent $300 to the customs officer

13. When you use the plastic bag from the grocery store as a garbage bag.

14. When you go buy a $100 bathing suit only to go in the water with a T-Shirt over it.

15.  When you party all night on Christmas Day until it's time to go to Junkanoo at 1:00am on Boxing Day

Gotta love my people!


I will leave you with a video from one of my favourite local artists, Papa Smurf.   I love that you can hear his authentic Bahamian accent as he raps.

Here is one of his songs, "I am a Bahamian" featuring Da Element & Sherrol Rahming.  Enjoy!

Happy 40th Anniversary Bahamas!

Signed, 

A Bahamian Gal, Candilaria