MARRIAGE: Do You Miss Your Husband?

Do you miss your husband? Are you like me? I remember when my husband and I had fun! Life does not feel fun anymore. We are still fun people but life is not fun!

Life is now routine, problem-solving and planning. We are so engrossed with school fees, pigeons on our balcony, and bedtime routines that it doesn't feel like fun. Not the fun we during let's say 2003 - 2009.

I miss my husband! 

It is during these times that many couples lose sight of their marital commitment. I would be a liar if I denied having a thought or two that contradicts my wedding vows. It is during this time when many couples, including the couple in Tyler Perry's Movie Temptation', get tempted.

When life gets mundane, we believe that something is wrong with our relationship.

When life lacks luster, we believe there is someone else out there that can bring back passion.

When the routines are so repetitive, we long for escape.

But what if life is supposed to be mundane? What if this is just a stage? What if this stage is a part of the process? What if we are on the right path despite our longing for an entirely different road?

According to a quick Google search I did the other day, my husband and I are on the right path. 

Apparently, marriage isn't a wedding. It isn't a party. It is a journey. It is a journey with different mountains, valleys, twists and turns, highs and lows.

In fact, there are stages of marriage.

Eric, Channing and Chase Hall
The Cooperation Stage

The Stages of Marriage are listed below. Read them and think about which stage are you and your husband in? Maybe if you know the stage you are in for your marriage, it may help you, like it helped me.

Now I know that there is nothing wrong with my marriage. I am just in a certain stage.

Until I blog again,


PASSION STAGEYou may be in the Passion Stage if your relationship is all about the two of you and the excitement, sex and intimacy you are experiencing.
Action: Strengthen your sense of “us” – make time for each other, leave work at work.

REALIZATION STAGEYou may be in the Realization Stage if you find you are beginning to get to know each other’s real strengths and weaknesses.
Action: Develop the important communication habits – listening and confiding – that are essential to expanding understanding and trust.

REBELLION STAGEYou may be in the Rebellion Stage when each of you is seeking to assert your self-interests and you end up having volatile – or hidden - power struggles.
Action: Learn how to negotiate and keep agreements – keeping promises builds trust. Identify areas of difference and start talking about them – one at a time. Don’t change the subject.

COOPERATION STAGEYou maybe in the Cooperation Stage if both you and your spouse seem more preoccupied with the kids, money, home and work and you start to feel like business partners more than lovers.
Action: Make your marriage a priority, de-stress and keep the passion alive. Set up a regular date night. Find a babysitter!
REUNION STAGEYou may be in the Reunion Stage if you have an ‘empty nest’ and begin to have more time for yourself and for each other to renew your friendship and passion.
Action: Refocus on your marriage, get off autopilot & unpack any old baggage. Plan some special events that bring back good memories.

EXPLOSION STAGEYou may be in the Explosion Stage, which can happen anytime, if you are experiencing major career, health, parenting and family crises.
Action: Make use of emotional, physical and spiritual support for yourself, your spouse and your marriage. Pay attention to your physical and emotional health and well-being.

COMPLETION STAGEYou may be in the Completion Stage as stability and security reign and you enjoy each other and the life you have created.
Action: Look to create a new sense of meaning & purpose for yourselves & your marriage. Establish a special project that you will begin together.

Adapted from The 7 Stages of Marriage by Sari Harrar and Rita DeMaria, Copyright 2007 The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc.

1 comment:

Kaylus Horton-Adams said...

This is a great marriage evaluative tool. Very informative. I am enlightened. Thank you for sharing.