We Have Failed Our Girls

I was a chaperone at a high school dance this past weekend. I watched in dismay as our girls performed lap dances. They danced like only they knew how; like they were having sex. At first I was traumatized   but after I went to church I repented not just for myself but for all the women, all of us who are older and wiser.

We have failed our daughters because we have allowed them to believe they can live like us, do what we do, wear what we wear, talk like we talk, listen to the music that we listen to and dance like some of us do.....some of us dance as if we are having sex.

We have failed because we did not and do not protect them for the reality shows, the videos on You tube that teach you how to twerk, the music that tells 'Bands will make her dance....' we did not protect them.

There is a woman reading this right now who watches her daughter get dressed in clothing that is too short, too tight, too revealing for her age but still you allow her to wear it...as a matter of fact you bought this outfit for her. 

You are failing your daughter. 

Your daughter may look ready but she is not ready to wear a pair of shorts that show her camel toe. Why isn't she ready you may ask. She isn't ready because she is a girl. 

Give your girl a chance to be a girl. When she is a young woman then change accordingly.

I witnessed an eighth grade girl give a boy a lap dance while he was laying down on his back on a stage. I watched a seventh grade boy pump a girl by holding her hips while he was standing behind her. I watched twelve and thirteen year olds bend over and touch their toes as soon as a song started. This is what we have taught them. 

You may be thinking that no, not me I don't dance this way, certainly not in front of my daughter but does your daughter have a television in her room with access to cable tv? Does your daughter have a computer in the privacy of her own room? Does she have an ipad or a smart phone to watch, receive or send messages at will? Do you have conversations in front of your daughter with your girlfriends? Do you wear clothing too tight and revealing? Do you buy clothes that look like your clothes for your daughter? Does your daughter spend time with a godmother or aunt who listens to 100 Jamz while your daughter is in the car? Does your little girl know the words to songs meant for your listening ears? Is your camel toe showing when you get dressed? 

Take a moment.....what message are you communicating to your daughter by what you do? 

Your daughter, any girl you come in contact with is watching you. 

Today I was invited to speak to these same girls. I was asked to explain how to dress and carry themselves. Imagine if every woman our girls saw was a woman impeccably dressed. Imagine if we spoke honorably, we displayed etiquette. I would not need to speak at a seminar because our girls would have appropriate behavior modeled for them.

We have failed our girls.


Until I blog again, 


MWMs said...

Well said Tiff, well said!

Anonymous said...

Tiff you forgot one....Do any of us send naked pictures to a married man not realizing that one day our daughters will have access to the web and what we put out there stays out there? We really do have to think about what we are teaching our daughters.

Your Sister


MWMs said...

Wow, I apologize for the delay of my response. I totally agree with you. We have to be the role models. We have to hold the sanctity of marriage in high esteem so our daughters will do the same.

Unfortunately, the institution of marriage is not respected. Women are the gatekeepers. Imagine a world where a man could not find a women who was willing to be a mistress. He would have to go home to his wife eh?

Imagine women!

We are guilty! Let's be better role models!

And for goodness sake just because You tube says broadcast yourself doesn't mean that is our mandate!


Anonymous said...

I must say that this bit that Tiffany wrote i have read several times and i can't help but to see another side of this.

As "mothers" alone i think we need to assist those mothers who simply don't know any better. I've realize that alot of our women are trapped in a cycle that just keeps going and going and going......whether its the mother that allows her daughter to witness men in and out - having a man for each bill. Or the young girl who's innocence is taken at an early age and is a mother at 12, 13 etc. Until we as women (no one is exempt) get to a point where decide to break the generational curses over our young women then honestly we can't expect more. Arent we suppose to be a "village that raises our children" then lets just do that. I always believe that it's never too late to turn around on a wrong road.

I appreciate reading that Tiffany had the opportunity to speak to these same young women - Its great that you spoke about being an honourable women but i hope u also mentioned that fact that these things they do now will indeed follow them for the rest of their lives. we've all done it....."boy u remember her - she used to see one the teachers or she slept with the whole basketball team" Let's teach them!

MWMs said...

Hi Anonymous,
I am so happy this post has reinforced your belief. We truly have to assist other mothers as you said.

When I spoke to the girls, I encouraged them to do this by being an example. We would all be surprised by how many people watch what we do. Living by example, modeling a better way of life is so powerful.

When I spoke to these teenage girls I admonished that just because the website youtube says broadcast yourself, does not mean the whole world has to know what they do. The broadcasting they do now will follow them.

As mothers, godmothers, aunts, sisters, neighbours and friends we have to teach our girls. I believe we teach not so much by what we say but by what we do.

Unfortunately, the example we have shown our girls is being mirrored to us now. Let's change that example one day at a time as we live in from of them.

You are absolutely correct. It is never to late to turn around and get off of a wrong road.

Thank you so much for your comment.